More Quick Questions To The Traitourous Hypocritical Republicant Trumplings Who Cast Even More Hypocritical Allegations On The Character Of The Democratic Candidate For President Of The United States Of America

Tuesday, 28 Sweltring 2016

I notice yet more streams of projectile propaganda excrement coming from the usual vacuous pieholes regarding the Clinton Foundation, even more emails – maybe even up to 100 thousand in total! – and junta-like threats of imprisoning political opponents from the campaign of the Orange Julius.

Funny – when the Ray-Guns were selling White House favors, when both PapaDoc and BabyDoc did it, you said nothing.

Also too, almost equally (but even more tragically) funny – BabyDoc lost millions of emails during the illegal immoral war in Iraq. And you blew it off like it was no big deal, and why should anyone even think about bringing it up?

Besides wondering how you can look yourself in the mirror every morning, once again I wonder why you think anyone cares what hypocritical nonsense you spew now?

Inquiring minds want to know…

Quick Question To Any Traitourous Hypocritical Republicant Trumpling Who Questions The Health Of The Democratic Candidate For President Of The United States Of America

Saturday, 26 Sweltring 2016

Why were you silent when you knew Ronnie Ray-Gun had Alzheimiers while running for president in 1984? Why did you say nothing while his cabal ran the country for the rest of his presidency while he drooled quietly into his jellybeans?

And why do you think anyone cares what hypocritical nonsense you spew now?

Inquiring minds want to know…

Minor Correction From The Funny Farm News Burro

Saturday, 12 Sweltring 2016

In the previous post, this website refereed to the Caligula Combover as a Mafia Don – which, if he were, he would not be doing any of the idiotic crap he has been in the first place. No one here wishes to disparage any organizations that might be offended by being considered to be willing to consider the Short Fingered Vulgarian as a member.

While unsure whether Forrest Drumpf still owes a favor to the american mafia, or owes a metric farkton of money to the russian mafia, or both, The Funny Farm News Burro wishes to refer to Agent Orange as Bought And Owned By The Mafia Don instead of Mafia Don.

Quick Questions To The pResidential Campaign Of The Short Fingered Trumperor That The Republicants Should Be Ashamed To Be Inflicting On The American People

Friday, 10 Sweltring 2016

Besides being major league arseholes to anyone approaching my level of distaste for the trainwreck you laughingly call a party platform, your town halls*, your press conferences**, and your ever-shifting Policy positions***, I’m wondering if there are still foreigners who are receiving email solicitations from your campaign. Maybe a Trumpling would care to point me to somewhere an update on the situation can be found?

Also, too – I understand that people are unable to stop recurring donations to your campaign once they have started. As a computer programmer who could fix something like that in less time than it took you to embarass yourself with your shameful behavior to the families of military veterans, I’m wondering if you can still pass this off as a bug to the patsies who got phished into that scam…

Which brings me to the real question I have: no matter how many times I unsubscribe to receive any communication from your general direction, no matter how much I report you to Hotmail as a phishing scam, no matter how much I block your steaming loads of Republicant kimchi – I still receive daily emails from your slanderous propaganda outlets. Multiple emails. Every day.

I’m wondering if you think that this is a Yuuuuuge strategery, an amaaaazing strategery, or a fantaaatstic strategery in terms of how likely this will make me want to consider any Republicant ever for any office for the rest of my voting span? Do you think that the Nigerian prince scam is a good internets business model?

Inquiring minds want to know…

* – which are so unlike the “town halls” that you meticulously planned to disrupt proceedings when it didn’t suit your agenda to cause some to wonder if doublethink has now been incorporated into Republicant Party lingo by Newtie and the Boyz

** – which have also taken the term “press conference” to hitherto unknown realms as far as reality is concerned…

*** – speaking of which, it is interesting that no one seems to be constantly questioning the Mafia Don about his silly wall which is probably hundreds of feet high by now with super nega-ray scanners that will identify humanoids before they get within 100 feet of the border and let the good ones (cough) through so they can get to their jobs on time…

Quick Note To The Democratic Party And The Hillary Clinton Campaign

Thursday, 25 Promise 2016

If you *really* want to piss off all the progressives and make them think more than twice about Lord Short Thumbs as a protest vote, by all means consider Tim Kaine or any other whitebread conservative Yellow Dog Democrat you can dredge and prop up next week in Philly*.

However, if you want to think outside of the box, and could get any of the following to consider running with Hillary as veep, it would be a lot better than Kaine / Vilsack:

John Hickenlooper
Charlie Crist
Barack Obama**
Sherrod Brown
Ken Salazar

I would also, as someone who finds the Democrats waaaay not liberal enough, suggest someone like Michael Moore, if you could convince him, to run. He would be perfect to counter Trumpian shenanigans…

But please please please don’t pick some conservative wannabe Republicant to be your running mate and it would be nice if at least one of the major political parties stopped punching down at the dirty hippies for a change. Just sayin’…

* – with the possible exception of Grampa Joe Biden – if you could convince him to run again…

** – although I would prefer to let him sit out there until Hillary gets a bullet proof Senate majority so that she could nominate him for Supreme Court Justice…

Quick Note To President Obama And The Democratic Party

Friday, 1 Priming 2016

You should publicly announce your nominee for the Supreme Court Justice position vacated by that traitorous Republicant shill Antonin “Fat Tony’ Scalia as soon as possible. In fact, you should tweak the Republicant’s noses with it. And tell the american people that you have candidates lined up for nomination if the Republicants deny this one; each more liberal than the last. Then tell them that Clinton and Sanders have both agreed to put your name in for the nomination in 2017 once they are electorated. Just to watch their heads explode.

If I might make a suggestion, perhaps you would consider the former 42nd president of these United States, William Jefferson Clinton, to fill Fat Tony’s seat on the Supreme Court. Just a thought…

Quick Note To The Traitourous Farging Republicant Iceholes Running This Country (Into the Ground)

Thursday, 30 Shivring 2016

It is my sincere wish that one day the Democratic Party does exactly the same thing that you have done to the first African American president, who won both of his elections by a larger margin than anyone since Red Ink Ray-Gun. Declare him illegitimate from day one, obstruct everything and anything that comes from his office, and constantly bring legislation up to dismantle anything he does accomplish.

Republicants have obstructed everything that this president has tried to do and continue to do so at unprecedented levels. There are those of us out in the real world who feel as strongly about unethical illegal Republicant shenanigans as the Republicants do when real people express any sort of objections to his fascist agenda. It would be interesting (although in all probability completely predictable) to watch the Republicants caterwauling about being treated the same way that they treat others. It would be interesting to see the reaction by the american people if liberals started shooting up everything and everyone in sight the way Republicant domestic terrorists have been doing since the moment Obama was legally elected. It would be astounding if the right wing media covered the Republicant campaign of domestic terrorism over the last seven years in an even remotely balanced manner. And it would be supremely appropriate to let all the republicant enablers out there who says that “both parties are the same” see what life would be like if their bullhockey about both parties were actually even somewhere close to reality.

—–

On a related side note, I apologize to the rest of the american people for the blinkered Republicant philistines that are the majority of the rest of my relatives. My mother had no problems with the Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter (During Wartime) taking away my employment, giving away half of the treasury to his rich friends, putting tax giveaways to the rich in place with a bunch of Republicant lies, ruining the world economy, ruining 5000+ families by sending their best and brightest to be killed in an illegitimate illegal war, and treating anyone who objected to their fascist schemes as a traitor. But she can’t even say Obama’s name because she has been having nightmares that the U.S. might make her pay capital gains taxes on her Canadian property at some unknown unspecified time in the future*. And she’s one of the more rational of my relatives…

* – the property would need to be valued at over two million dollars (it’s not) and she would need not to have a gazillion deductions (she does) or alternate methods to make the property not eligible for this treatment (which she also has). Mind you, the increased cost of renouncing american citizenship (it’s currently $2,350) and the requirement for foreign nationals to file income taxes have not helped the situation any…

Merry Merry and Happy Happy

Friday, 28 Conclusion 2015

Hey, kids! It’s that time of the year once again, where I wade through a metric Cheneyton of holiday dren kimchi collections of atonal pseudo-musical notes occasionally approaching coherence awesome tuneage to provide you with the best (cough) in non-traditional non-superstition based holiday musical montages. As always huge props to the master, DJ Riko for showing me the way – please go over to his site and check out his fine 2015 offering.

Here’s the track list for the 2015 Xmas MegaMixx:

Christmas Jug Band – Somebody Stole My Santa Claus Suit
Meiko – Maybe Next Year
Hugh Jackman wishes you Happy Holidays
Amy Winehouse – I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Voices of Soul – Someday at Christmas
First Aid Kit – Blue Christmas
Rosie Thomas – Why Can’t It Be Christmas All Year Round
Cheech and Chong – Santa Claus and His Old Lady
Garfunkel and Oates – Present Face
Microsoft commercial (unknown artists) – Spread Peace
The NOW Sound of Christmas intro
Margo Gunyan – I Don’t Intend To spend Christmas Without You
Gruff Rhys – Post Apocalypse Christmas
Holly Cole – I’d Like To Hitch a Ride With Santa Claus
The Beach Boys – Christmas Day
Ricardo Montalban, Esther Williams, Red Skelton, and Betty Garrett – Baby It’s Cold Outside
The Fendertones – Little Saint Nick
Cobie Callat -Mistletoe
They Might Be Giants – Santa’s Beard
Office Romance – I Love The Holidays
Johnny Cash wishes you Merry Christmas
Binky Griptite – Stone Soul Christmas
KT Tunstall – Sleigh Ride
Piney Girl – Every Day’s A Holiday
Saturday’s Children – Christmas Sounds
Howard Scott Pearlman – The Santa Clause Rock
Wham! – Last Christmas
the Js with Jamie – Cool Yule

It was interesting to find the original version(s) of Baby, It’s Cold Outside while trying to find versions where the male is being pressured to stay, and find that the original was setup with that gag built in. Also the irony of Ricardo Montalban having to convince Esther Williams to stay while Betty Garrett was having to convince Red Skelton* (!) in a similar fashion suggests to me that previous generations were pretty frelling hip and froody.

If you wish to comment on this post or download this or any of the Mega Mixxes, please email me – the directory is behind the Funny Farm Filings Fence and you will need to get the user name / password from me if you didn’t save it last year.

Share and Enjoy!

* – look up any of those names that might not be familiar to you while getting off my lawn you whippersnappers…

And Now For Something Completely Different…

Fryday, 3 Conclusion 2015

…at least, something different here at the Funny Farm.

You may have notices a certain lack of regularity frequency existence of bloggy goodness coming from this direction over the past six months. The necessities of the current dire straits being experienced by Your Humble Narrator have forced me to abandon my $200 a month UVerse habit* and explore alternative methods of survival. For those of you who might want to try and contact me, for now, if you try and call any number you might have for me, you probably will get a message telling you that the number is no longer in service. You can still email me and I will pick emails up in the infrequent intervals that I will be able to find time and internets access.

I wish I had more to add to this update but I can’t think of anything to say other than can somebody please stop this ride because I don’t think I can take much more of this and I would really like to get off now.

* – quick note to UVerse – when I say I’m having problems trying to pay Comcast/Xfinity $170 a month for the all-in-one (cable, internet, and phone service) bundle that the original deal said was going to be $100, it would be advisable to tell me the truth regarding your replacement for said Comcast/Xfinity bundle. When your salesweasels told me, a year ago, that Uverse would replace my Comcast/Xfinity bundle with their own all-in-one solution for those services, I should have known you were lying from the word go. I am glad that it only took a year’s worth of a service contract to straighten this out. Now I have to scramble to find replacements for the infotainment feed that was streaming into my melon on a constant basis, or re-learn how things were in the before time, when the internets were few and far between…