Shut It Down

Tuesday, 13 Conclusion 2016

So Republicants have been threatening to shut down the government if they don’t get to illegally install a madman as Secretary of Defense.

Good! Every day that they shut down the government over this is another day that the Insane Horror Clown can’t do anything more to wreck amerikkka. And any Democrats out there should promise an equal reaction to any of Forrest Drumpf‘s initiatives. If they need Democrats to establish a quorum, then Democrats don’t show up. If they can be filibustered, they should be filibustered – just like Republicants have been doing to Obama and the Democrats for the last eight years. If Turtle Boy McChicken$hit needs help in the Senate with anything, throw him a frelling anchor.

It might not stop the upcoming T Rumpmageddon, but it might just slow it down enough to let amerikkka survive these traitorous arseholes.

Share and Enjoy! before Republicants make it illegal to criticize the gubmint…

Quick Thought For The day

So the Combover Caligula is going to start sending text messages to the whole nation when he illegally occupies the white House for the next four years. I sure hope they are one way texts for his sake, because if I get any more crap from the Republcant iceholes who are going to destroy this country I will be responding in an appropriate manner. As I’m guessing quite a few million of my countrymen will be doing as well.

These idiots deserve to be treated the way they have treated Barack Obama for his entire presidency – deny them any sort of legitimacy, oppose them at every step, and expose their traitorous actions to the amerikkkan people.

Hokey Smokes, Quicksdraw

My good friend Jack Cluth just barely missed being street pizza within the last 24 hours. As usual, through a lot of luck and some impeccable timing one human being made it and another is taking the big dirt nap.

Having seen death real up close and personal when my roommate died a few years ago, I can personally attest to just being close to such an event is extremely unsettling.

Hope things work out okay, Jack. Count those lucky stars and hope you have more of them tucked in your back pocket for the next time…

Absolutely Amazing

Tuesday, 6 Conclusion 2016

Apparently the southern states of ths USA are going through natural disasters which are almost biblical. And I have yet to hear from any of the usual religiously insane idiots (like Pat Effing Robertson or Mike The Hucksterbee) about how this is Gawd’s divine retribution for supporting a short fingered disaster monkey in the election. and pissing away any sort of moral high ground that they may have thought they had. Not that that will stop them from being religiously insane pontificating dunsels.

Funny how that works…

Quick Thought For The Day

Sunday, 5 Conclusion 2016

Dear Gerrymandering Republicant Election Thieves:

Do you realize that the nomination of someone to head the Department of Health and Human Services who is determined to dismantle Social Security benefits (including Medicare) is ratcheting up the stress levels of a significant proportion of the amerikkkan people? If so, is it considered a design bonus or a design flaw? Or was it the whole point all along? Because, you know, end times and rapture and all, but also too mass hysteria and cats and dogs living together, and has this really been simulated and rehearsed enough?

I guess we will be finding out shortly…

Quick Question

Saturday, 4 Conclusion 2016

So I hope it’s okay with Barry Effing @crimmins if I try and say something outside of the Twitter feed he thought it best to bully me off, but since this is my world that mothercheneying bully can quip about it all he wants and it won’t mean a frelling thing. As it usually doesn’t…

Anyways,… apparently Forrest Drumpf recently summoned the conservative mainstream media for a private off the record meeting. Hey, at least Darth Cheney waited until after stealing the election to summon the energy execs for his secret off the books cabal…

But I still haven’t seen anyone discuss, much less satisfactorily explain to me, something about this incident. Apparently Hair Fuhror started reaming the networks for their lies and that they should be ashamed of themselves. With a straight face. Apparently in complete ignorance of the irony of something like that coming from his vacuous pie hole.

What I don’t understand: the moment I heard any of this dren coming from the Mafia Owned Don I would have gathered my employees, told this pestilent pile of kimchi where he could stick his comments, leave one junior staff member to record the rest of his childish rant, tell him that this meeting is now on the record, and walked the frak out with the rest of my staff.

Am I missing something? Why did anyone put up with this kind of bullying from this megalomaniac? Why didn’t they call him out on this nonsense? Inquiring minds want to know…

…And The Twitter Feed Is No More

Can’t even find the original tweet – something about there never being as many sore winners as there are right now – a mighty quip that Your Humble Narrator could never hope to aspire to emulating even if he had an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters. From someone relatively well known on my followers list. That I have a ton of respect and admiration for from back in the BartCop days. Who has discussed how he has been abused by others.

Update 5 Conclusion 2016: Found the original tweet:

Just hanging out there like a fat changeup that I was waiting on…

===================

@crimmins it sounds like you don’t remember 2000 very well as I remember a ton of sore winners back then

===================

@FunnyFarmer10 Fcuk quip nitpicking. Seriously. Write one fcuking quip that good EVER hashtag game player w 16 followers. Go away.

===================

Going away now. Thanks for making this day extra special for me.

Amerikkka Is so Screwed Right Now

Tuesday, 15 Betteroff, 2016

An orange terror ditto monkey has been electorated as pResident of these United states of Amerikkka*, and while I’m happy that stand-up philosophers will have lots of material for the next four years (at least) I now fear that Emperor Cartagia might make the profession a bit more risky. I’m also sad that the courts will be frelled for generations and prolly Mel Brooks (among others) will not live long enough to see a happy future for this country.

A couple of Republicants that I know personally will be in for a rude shock especially now that their support for T Rump made a crucial difference in the outcome and the joke is not even remotely close to amusing anymore.

And of course now everything here is in flux because when things get canceled and laws get rescinded there will be one more underemployed late 50’s white male hanging around, slowly starving, and unwillingly becoming part of the surplus population…

Share and Enjoy! – soon you may be legally required to do so if you are an amerikkkan citizen

* – it’s spelt that way for at least four years…

It’s That Time Of Year Somewhat Earlier Than Normal This Year

Humpday, 9 Betteroff 2016

Hi everybody! This post is coming earlier than usual this year for a plethora of reasons. First and foremost, after last year I had almost half of this year’s mix left over. This one’s been percolating in the back of my mind for a while now. I also have been stressed out to the limits of my endurance at various points in time this year, and now have the great fortune to have come through my own fire. And recovered from the burns.

Also too it seems to be somewhat stressful for a metric Cheneyton of people these days. Especially in the greater North American continent what with all the T Rumplings running amok and some of the more radical right wing christian terrorists shooting up things more often. So maybe somebody can decompress and get their minds right to the point that they are ready to embrace The Church of The Afternoon Nap and throw off the shackles of traditional religious fanaticism. Just maybe…

And some Cubbies ended a drought of over one hundred years and won the last game of the year. In extra innings. So an entire year of baseball, and things come down to the last game possible. And it’s tied at the end of regulation… Congrats to the Chicago Cubs and long suffering Cubs fans all over!

So, for these and so many more reasons, but most importantly because I got the frelling thing done already, it’s time to provide you once again with the best (cough) in non-traditional non-superstition based holiday musical montages. As always huge props to the master, DJ Riko for showing me the way – please go over to his site and check out his fine 2016 offering once he gets it up on his site.

Here’s the track list for the 2016 Xmas MegaMixx:

Bill Murray, Mylie Cyrus, & P Shaffer&Band-Let It Snow
Dan McCaslin-Spirit Of Christmas
Moonglows-Hey Santa Claus
Jars Of Clay-Hibernation Day
Klark Kent-Yo Ho Ho
Liz Phair & Aimee Mann-Ho Ho Ho
Christina Perri-Something About December
Great Lake Swimmers-Hang A String Of Lights
Canned Heat-Christmas Boogie
Chuck Berry-Run Rudolph Run
Yellowcard-Christmas Lights
Marvin Gaye-Purple Snowflakes
Jona Lewie-Stop The Cavalry
Wall Of Voodoo-Shouldn’t Have Given Him A Gun For Christmas
Fall Out Boy-Yule Shoot Yer Eye Out
Fitz and The Tantrums-Santa Stole My Lady
The Futureheads-Christmas Was Better In The 80’s
Andrea Perry-Christmas With Fat Aunt Bette
Julian Casablancas-I Wish It Was Christmas Today
The Killers featuring Ryan Pardey-I Feel It In My Bones
National Lampoon featuring Murray Bros & Gilda Radner-Kung Fu Christmas
Ella Fitzgerald-What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?

This year it was interesting to get a few songs that I have been wanting to finally get to into the mix, including one that one of my friends helped put together. The National Lampoon cut was a pretty good find as well – Brian Doyle-Murray, his brother Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, and National Frelling Lampoon, people! These things also seem to take on a life of their own – going back through them I definitely see themes going through them besides the ones I try to put in myself.

I am also getting a big pile of songs that are not family friendly enough for inclusion in the mega mixxes. One might almost think of them as anti-Christmas songs – and not the cutesy kind like Christmas Prison (from 2011’s mix). Adult themes and not-nice christmas wishes and other stuff I don’t even want to get into – but fantastic music from wondrous musical groupings. I was thinking I might put something together. Maybe even later this year…

I have also done something this year that I have never done before, and I have woven at least two themes into this year’s Mega Mixx. I will be giving out prizes this year to the first people who correctly suss out either of these two mysteries. Aren’t you supposed to give away stuff for Christmas?

If you wish to comment on this post, try and solve this year’s Xmas Mysteries, or download this or any of the Mega Mixxes, please email me – the directory is behind the Funny Farm Filings Fence and you will need to get the user name / password from me if you didn’t save it last year.

Share and Enjoy!