Mid Year Updates

Fryday, Mid Year’s Eve, 2014

There is, as always, considerable clutter that needs to be shuffled about on these web pages, and I’ve been considering how to spruce the place up a bit. Bart has passed on; some of the other sites that I have linked to for aeons, internets-wise, have either ceased operations or gone static – this site (in its’ various incarnations) is old enough to have outlived a lot of initiatives and collective websites. A somewhat quiet life of late, but things have slowed down some for Your Humble Narrator. Employment opportunities have come in two flavors of late – slim and none – and I can’t see any improvement in that situation. I have tried to get a few initiatives of my own going over the years. It seems that there is no one interested in the benefits of the three day work week and having at least one personalized copy of The Midling Calendar hanging on their wall – at least, not so far in over ten years.

I’m also still waiting to hear from any celebrities extolling the wonders of the philosophical and religious principles of The Church of The Afternoon Nap and offering to donate $ome $upport for finding a place to host afternoon naps for the general community. I have been considering trying to put together something on Kickstarter, and I am particularly interested in pursuing official recognition of The Church of The Afternoon Nap as an official religion.

In the meantime, there could possibly be some alterations to the bloggy goodness to be found in the Links Zone, and I am considering starting a sub-zone for the dearly departed and/or combining a few of my own collaborative attempts into the mix. As you may also have noticed, there hasn’t been a lot of chatter around these parts about the latest dreck from the latest Republicant who is actually just another old Republicant (along with his rhymes with witchy Republicant carpetbagging daughter). Mainly because it’s over ten years years now that I still can’t believe that anyone pays any attention to the treasonous bile coming from the should-have-been impeached Vice pResident, or any Republicant, much less uses it anywhere near a rational discussion about the issues being discussed. If that frelling irony alert had not dissipated into the general atmosphere during the reign of The Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter (During Wartime) it would have been barking like a Chihuahua on Cuervo* when former GeeWhatAnIdiot spokesweasel Dana Perino was yapping about missing emails, after treasonously and illegally** helping to cover up the ‘loss’ of emails about said old Republicant and some of his impeachable offenses while he was part of the Putsch regime. Also, too – if people are still paying attention to, much less even considering following the ‘advice’ of any Republicant (this especially includes any Democratic politicians who help them poison the atmosphere and kneecap the current president for almost six years now) should strongly consider telling them you’ve had enough of their crap and they need to start working with their fellow americans instead of hunting them down.

The general note of considerable cheer at The Funny Farm these days stems largely from the success of the Netherlands and Belgium in the World Cup so far, and the wonderfully entertaining and skillfully enacted games so far. It’s also time for strawberries and cream around these parts, as Wimbledon has begun once again. As we come up on the Mid Years days for 2014, I can only encourage you to try and find something in your own life experience to enjoy as you celebrate making it through the first half of the year.

Share and Enjoy!

* – thanks to Bartcop for popularizing this phrase in this zone…

** – funny how Republicants can do things that they then impeach Democrats for. But I digress…

It’s 2014 Already. Where Are The Flying Cars?

Tuesday, 29 Reckning 2014

Many have heard about the famous IBM flying car commercial, but I am unsure how many are aware that it was a 2000 commercial for a rival to Microsoft Office that IBM was pimping to try and convince the business community that it would be wiser to use this computer software stuff instead of that computer software stuff to handle their computer software needs. I’m not sure how to tell you how that all went down except to inform you that I know of people who, to this day, are still using both in their day to day business activities. And that IBM and Microsoft are still both quite profitable corporate entities today.

Somebody should stop to think of the incredible complications that would be coming up if people could get their very own vehicle to fly from their homes to the local store whenever they needed another deck of smokes and a six pack for the night, and there was more than enough charge left in the batteries from the day’s activities to get the job done. And they had better do it very quickly – the Moller SkyCar is $80 million closer to being a reality and the Terrafugia looks so awesome I can’t believe I haven’t seen one around the high end part of town. They are talking about 8-12 years until their TF-X vehicle is available for production but hopefully they will have a lot of the kinks in the autopilot systems worked out by then as well.

My basic point is to let you know, if you weren’t already aware, that there are already the beginnings of a brave new world out there. I hope to find that the wonderful toys I featured on these pages in days gone by are still available for those interested in acquiring them as I resurrect more and more old content.

But I would really like to show you, dear reader, something else that has been pointed to by the Shakesville Science Department:

SOLAR!

FREAKIN!

ROADWAYS!

This sounds like a very interesting concept. The potholes are quite nasty around these parts these days and the thought of these panels all over the place (along with the improved roadwork and sanitation / runoff water reclamation potential that comes with their installation) sounds like it has a lot of potential for improving road conditions, improving the national infrastructure, and improving the quality of life in the areas where it gets installed. If they can do this for less than concrete or asphalt then let me know when I can install it in my driveway and my sidewalks. I would definitely consider replacing as much of my pitiful excuse for a lawn as possible at the same time. You can check out their IndieGoGo campaign, and anyone who knows Jay Leno should really tell him about this and ask him if he would be interested in installing a prototype in his zones. I would absolutely love it if they caught on and started getting installed all over the place. I was going to send an email to Ed Begley Jr., an amazingly together and awesomely inspiring individual to many, not least Your Humble Narrator* – but I recently learned that he has been attempted to be punked by that Teabagging Republicant Piece of Kimchi James O’Keefe and is probably not in the mood to hear from some blogger, even if he is one of his biggest fans. But, Ed – seriously, you should look into this – especially if there are some serious potholes in any of your pathways…

It is my sincere hope that I am able to see at least some of these technological advances in place and functioning in the real world. Quite a long way to come from someone who used to dream of living in a corridor…

* – many eons ago in internets time, I contacted Ed about a bit that he did that I dug up, and he informed me about him and Michael Nesmith riffing one day. You can hear the clip I have of most of the results of that riffing here.

Survival Mode

Humpday, 16 Reckning 2014

Hey kids! Your Humble Narrator is going through some major depression and is desperately trying to find some sort of way of living that does not involve sleeping under crumbling overpasses when the severence and the unenjoyment runs out in the near future. On the other hand, there has been an almost religiously (cough) devout attention being paid* to Church of The Afternoon Nap services around here lately…

So I am currently at a loss for survival strategies that will enhance the chances of making it to the point where I can finally start collecting on the tontine that I have been paying into for the thirty plus years of my working career. That long awaited day is at least eight years away if I opt for an early Social Security buy out if that option is still available for people who get that old. If I can survive that long on my good (cough) looks.

I just got back from a visit to the doctor and mentioned all this to him. I will be starting to look into health care options under the Affordable Care Act shortly, now that my health care from my previous employer has run out. On the other hand, now that my health care provider cannot require me to restrict my maintenance medication prescriptions to thirty days, I am saving a little money and a lot of gas getting the pills the doctors have determined I need in order to survive ninety days at a time. I have one pill that costs quite a bit (especially now that I do not have that health care provider any more) but now I can save for three months to acquire it – and now there’s only four hits to the budget a year for that particular expense.

So, as always, time will tell how things work out around here. I have a complete lack of confidence regarding finding gainful employment any time during the rest of my existence. Constructive suggestions as to how to put food on my family going forward are most welcome…

* – which, once again is almost the only thing that is being paid – soon I will be too broke to even pay attention…

Michigan’s Famous Weather Rears Its Ugly Head On Tax Day

Friday, 20 Goodenuf 2014

After slightly more than fifty years of cognizant meandering through this thing called life I have managed to put together a number of canned responses to some of the ususal questions that, hopefully, from time to time, jogs a few of my fellow beings into a slightly different way of looking at things. For example, quite often after I mention that I have apnea, and use a CPAP machine in order to sleep properly*, I get asked “how do you sleep at night?” The canned Funny Farm response (from before the Funny Farm even existed as a gleam in a young nerd’s eye) has been “like a baby – I wake up every two hours crying and screaming”**.

After almost an entire fortnight of pleasant spring weather I awoke early this morning to an eerie luminescence that made me double check my internal body clock, because it was too bright – even factoring in the full moon and the lunar eclipse action – to be that early in the morning. Unless…

After ten plus days of blissful remission from the Winter From Hell, this morning a goodly portion of the lower part of Michigan*** was once again covered in fluffy white crystallized water. It’s still coming down as I am putting this blog post together. Working from home does have some definite perks that I hope my fellow almost former HP employees are taking advantage of right now****. It still looks pretty – as long as I don’t think too much about the possibility of having to shovel my pavement once more. And I’m reasonably sure, rationally, that it will all be gone in a relatively short time, even if there is a cold snap for a few days. But deep down this winter has dampened my youthful appreciation of the season. Winter’s just not as much fun as it used to be for the first three months every year.

Anyways,… hoping you’re coping with whatever mother nature has thrown your way today, and your tax adventure was as (relatively) enjoyable as mine – I made the lady at the counter’s day yesterday when she sold me a money order for $4 (the amount I owed to the city of Pontiac after all the numbers had been crunched), and finished taking care of my taxes for the year. And, if you’re out on the roads in southeastern Michigan, slow down and be careful out there!

* – or even to nap during the afternoon. Yes, dear readers, Your Humble Narrator is strapped into a machine whenever he needs to get some shuteye.

** – it’s actually more like four or five hours or so, and the longer I’m asleep the more likely I am to wake up with either or both of my calves cramping (and most definitely crying and screaming is involved in those situations).

*** – yah, youse Yoopers probly gots anudder month til spring even has a chance to start, eh? – but north of the Big Mack is another world, and another story, altogether, eh?

**** – technically I am still employed and looking for gainful employment within the medium sized city that is HP worldwide. And I am encountering pretty much the same love and affection that I have from the business community at large whenever I try to request that they look at my skills and let me help their business make more money by employing me. And I am getting older and crankier and even more tired of jumping through the hoops and running the obstacle course (almost always superbly if given the chance) only to be told thanks but no thanks. So far my attempts to get the corporate world to once again take me into their embrace have been unsuccessful.

Where Have All The Good Times Gone?

Saturday, 1 Goodenuf 2014

Apparently 2014 is shaping up to be one of the most rancid in recent memory – and that’s saying quite a lot, considering the amazing suckitude of the millennium so far – and it is looking as if there’s going to be no end in sight. I have recently heard from one long time friend who has lost a mother in law and a sister in law in short order; another long time friend who now has to work with diminished functionality due to congestive heart failure; and, on a personal note, not only has my employment departed, but the depressive nature of my personal situation has caused me to experience some functional issues of my own. Hopefully I will snap out of it in the near future.

Of course there are many others, besides those wiling to publicly express their frustrations, who continue to struggle with things this year. It is my sincere hope that those who have seen fit to tighten the screws on the average joe come to their senses and cut the less fortunate among us some slack.

In the meantime, I hope that, for everyone who is struggling with just getting through the day, it starts getting better before the end of the year, and 2014 starts to suck just a bit less by the time summer rolls around.

Goodbye To A Good Friend

Friday, 15 Priming 2014

Well – I have been all wrapped up in the loss of gainful employment once more, and took a break from the internets for a few days. And then I went back to my favorite tequila treehouse to see if there were any more words of wisdom from my good friend Bartcop.

It is to my great sorrow that I found out that Bart is gone. I don’t think it has really sunk in yet. But I already miss him. And it saddens me to no end that I won’t be able to talk to him ever again.

So long, Bart. I will be making a few toasts in my Chinaco shot glasses over the next few days in your honor. So sorry to hear you’re gone…

Where Are They Now?

Humpday, 6 Priming 2014

There are a lot of things in the archives of the Funny Farm that have fallen by the wayside in the eleven plus years of bloggy goodness (coming up on ten years at this particular web address in April, as a matter of fact) I have been able to spew onto the internets. One of the ones that has gone dormant is the subject of today’s blast into the past…

In days (apparently) long gone, a small group of actors got together, and under the direction of an enterprising lad named Francis Stokes, they put together (among other things) a six part YouTube video series called God Inc in late 2006. At least some of the ensemble cast have appeared in some of the other videos linked to at the site, but there are no updates after 2008.

I tried to email Francis’ Monkey Secretary but he must have run away; and I can find no other way of finding anyone involved other than starting to physically going out and looking for them. Which goes far beyond any investigative budget considerations available to the Funny Farm Investigative Burro at this time.

I haven’t been able to get any more updates other than what you can find online. And I haven’t heard about anything at all coming from SciFi buying the rights to the God Inc franchise. But, if you haven’t yet had the pleasure, please take less than an hour out of your busy life and watch all six episodes of God Inc. You might even consider spending a bit more time and checking out some of the other video available from the links above – before they get bloggered, too… You’ll be glad you did!

Share and Enjoy!