Michigan’s Famous Weather Rears Its Ugly Head On Tax Day

Friday, 20 Goodenuf 2014

After slightly more than fifty years of cognizant meandering through this thing called life I have managed to put together a number of canned responses to some of the ususal questions that, hopefully, from time to time, jogs a few of my fellow beings into a slightly different way of looking at things. For example, quite often after I mention that I have apnea, and use a CPAP machine in order to sleep properly*, I get asked “how do you sleep at night?” The canned Funny Farm response (from before the Funny Farm even existed as a gleam in a young nerd’s eye) has been “like a baby – I wake up every two hours crying and screaming”**.

After almost an entire fortnight of pleasant spring weather I awoke early this morning to an eerie luminescence that made me double check my internal body clock, because it was too bright – even factoring in the full moon and the lunar eclipse action – to be that early in the morning. Unless…

After ten plus days of blissful remission from the Winter From Hell, this morning a goodly portion of the lower part of Michigan*** was once again covered in fluffy white crystallized water. It’s still coming down as I am putting this blog post together. Working from home does have some definite perks that I hope my fellow almost former HP employees are taking advantage of right now****. It still looks pretty – as long as I don’t think too much about the possibility of having to shovel my pavement once more. And I’m reasonably sure, rationally, that it will all be gone in a relatively short time, even if there is a cold snap for a few days. But deep down this winter has dampened my youthful appreciation of the season. Winter’s just not as much fun as it used to be for the first three months every year.

Anyways,… hoping you’re coping with whatever mother nature has thrown your way today, and your tax adventure was as (relatively) enjoyable as mine – I made the lady at the counter’s day yesterday when she sold me a money order for $4 (the amount I owed to the city of Pontiac after all the numbers had been crunched), and finished taking care of my taxes for the year. And, if you’re out on the roads in southeastern Michigan, slow down and be careful out there!

* – or even to nap during the afternoon. Yes, dear readers, Your Humble Narrator is strapped into a machine whenever he needs to get some shuteye.

** – it’s actually more like four or five hours or so, and the longer I’m asleep the more likely I am to wake up with either or both of my calves cramping (and most definitely crying and screaming is involved in those situations).

*** – yah, youse Yoopers probly gots anudder month til spring even has a chance to start, eh? – but north of the Big Mack is another world, and another story, altogether, eh?

**** – technically I am still employed and looking for gainful employment within the medium sized city that is HP worldwide. And I am encountering pretty much the same love and affection that I have from the business community at large whenever I try to request that they look at my skills and let me help their business make more money by employing me. And I am getting older and crankier and even more tired of jumping through the hoops and running the obstacle course (almost always superbly if given the chance) only to be told thanks but no thanks. So far my attempts to get the corporate world to once again take me into their embrace have been unsuccessful.

Where Have All The Good Times Gone?

Saturday, 1 Goodenuf 2014

Apparently 2014 is shaping up to be one of the most rancid in recent memory – and that’s saying quite a lot, considering the amazing suckitude of the millennium so far – and it is looking as if there’s going to be no end in sight. I have recently heard from one long time friend who has lost a mother in law and a sister in law in short order; another long time friend who now has to work with diminished functionality due to congestive heart failure; and, on a personal note, not only has my employment departed, but the depressive nature of my personal situation has caused me to experience some functional issues of my own. Hopefully I will snap out of it in the near future.

Of course there are many others, besides those wiling to publicly express their frustrations, who continue to struggle with things this year. It is my sincere hope that those who have seen fit to tighten the screws on the average joe come to their senses and cut the less fortunate among us some slack.

In the meantime, I hope that, for everyone who is struggling with just getting through the day, it starts getting better before the end of the year, and 2014 starts to suck just a bit less by the time summer rolls around.

Goodbye To A Good Friend

Friday, 15 Priming 2014

Well – I have been all wrapped up in the loss of gainful employment once more, and took a break from the internets for a few days. And then I went back to my favorite tequila treehouse to see if there were any more words of wisdom from my good friend Bartcop.

It is to my great sorrow that I found out that Bart is gone. I don’t think it has really sunk in yet. But I already miss him. And it saddens me to no end that I won’t be able to talk to him ever again.

So long, Bart. I will be making a few toasts in my Chinaco shot glasses over the next few days in your honor. So sorry to hear you’re gone…

Where Are They Now?

Humpday, 6 Priming 2014

There are a lot of things in the archives of the Funny Farm that have fallen by the wayside in the eleven plus years of bloggy goodness (coming up on ten years at this particular web address in April, as a matter of fact) I have been able to spew onto the internets. One of the ones that has gone dormant is the subject of today’s blast into the past…

In days (apparently) long gone, a small group of actors got together, and under the direction of an enterprising lad named Francis Stokes, they put together (among other things) a six part YouTube video series called God Inc in late 2006. At least some of the ensemble cast have appeared in some of the other videos linked to at the site, but there are no updates after 2008.

I tried to email Francis’ Monkey Secretary but he must have run away; and I can find no other way of finding anyone involved other than starting to physically going out and looking for them. Which goes far beyond any investigative budget considerations available to the Funny Farm Investigative Burro at this time.

I haven’t been able to get any more updates other than what you can find online. And I haven’t heard about anything at all coming from SciFi buying the rights to the God Inc franchise. But, if you haven’t yet had the pleasure, please take less than an hour out of your busy life and watch all six episodes of God Inc. You might even consider spending a bit more time and checking out some of the other video available from the links above – before they get bloggered, too… You’ll be glad you did!

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Sprucing Up The Place

Thursday, 16 Shivring 2014

Hey, kids! It appears that I will be having much more time upon my hands for the forseeable future. Which could possibly herald more stuff being brought to your attention round these parts.

For starters, the Links Zone has been tweaked slightly due to the demise of a few of my compatriots’ blogging output*, the restarting of others, and an inspiration for a slight alteration of the landscape. It is entirely possible that inspiration might even rise to the levels of a complete reworking of the site.

I would also like to point out the additional pages that have been added to the site of late. Amazingly enough, tired old brains that would like nothing more than to run down the grooves they have been comfy with lo these many years are capable of adapting to new things, albeit sometimes not as sprightly as they might have been thirty or even fifteen years ago.

So – The Church of The Afternoon Nap and The Midling Calendar now have their own individual pages within the Funny Farm. I hope you find them as infotaining as they have been to me.

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* – of which I can totally empathize with. Especially the frustration involved with Cassandra like curses affecting one’s ability to continue to try and explain about the particular train wreck that only you can see…

The Two Thousand Dollar Album

Friday, 19 Premise 2014

Here’s another bit of nostalgia from the archives:

Originally posted on Friday, 10 Sweltring 2010

I have a two thousand dollar album in my CD collection that you can purchase from CD Baby for $5.99! Let me tell you all about it…

the most expensive album in my collection

I recently received an update from a former co-worker, telling me about the latest news with regards to the album he (and his friend) released while I was working with him at SearsMart. Apparently, they now have an international top 10 hit from the album, according to the International Association of Independent Recording Artists (IAIRA). So I guess congratulations are in order for C T H S (Cortez Taylor and Herman Stacy), and hopefully this the start of something big for them.

I was one of his fellow employees at SearsMart for a number of years until my area got melded into his. I eventually learned that he was one of the few people whose views were even close to mine about, well, pretty much everything* in the new group I was now part of. And I eventually managed to find my way into the pecking order (our group went under the unofficial title of the department of grump bunnies) and hang out with Cortez and a few others** at break time, go to lunch together, etc.

So it was that I learned of his music, his potential upcoming album, and his need of additional capital in order to get the job done. Two thousand dollars of additional capital. Being well ahead in my own financial recovery plan at the time, I was able to find the resources to lend a hand to a friend. I got a promissory note with an excellent return on my investment. And a pretty good piece of music was released to the public – good enough for an international top 10 hit at the time of this posting.

Unfortunately, no good deed goes unpunished. C T H S made the payments (more or less) on time for the first six months, but then Cortez got zapped by the IRS and this happened and that happened, and, well, it’s now the middle of 2010. And Your Humble Narrator is still waiting for a still gainfully employed member of the SearsMart family and a motherCheneying Christian minister*** to get their act together and honor their debt.

Actually, I’m not waiting any more – Cortez now needs his cash to trick out his daughter’s beemer and probably didn’t even know he told me the news about the album via the power of automagic email updates. And, if there’s an Invisible Sky Fairy****, there have been no updates from that area regarding this particular situation with one of their spokespersons. No – I’m putting this out onto the internets so that any future investors will be a bit less trusting than I was should C T H S request additional investment capital.

Yes – I could have taken them to small claims court. But I’m pretty sure it’s too late for that now, I’m not all that interested in another adventure within the justice (cough) system, and I’m not sure I have enough resources to take that project on (I’ve taken previous ‘friends’ to court before, and it wasn’t all that and a bag of chips, if you get my drift). And I’m not all that into burning bridges these days and still have a faint hope that Cortez (at least) will do the right thing and finally take care of this problem.

Update Friday, 19 Premise 2014: and now it’s 2014, and I can’t find much of an internets presence for the group. Lots of places to purchase the album, at varying prices, over a lot of outlets (Amazon, iTunes, etc) – but not a lot about the artists themselves. I’m not particularly inclined to tilt at that particular windmill anyways. But it would be nice one day to update this post so that it doesn’t provide anecdotal evidence that ministers of traditional christian religious organizations are thieving weasels who should be shunned in polite society.

* – a lot of Rush Limbaugh fans, several card carrying members of the Gawd Squad, some “moderates” who really don’t want to be bothered with all the nonsense and just want to bring their families up and enjoy life (and/or don’t let it intrude into their business persona), and me.

** – the other culprits shall remain unidentified here; but fellow SearsMart employees of the time would easily be able to fill in the blanks.

*** – it seems to me to be particularly appalling to find yet another so-called servant of Gawd having no problem screwing over his fellow man.

**** – which I seriously doubt – so much so that I hesitate to even use the phrase, except in particularly ironically appropriate situations such as these.

Quick Note To Meterologists Still Unclear On The Concept

Thursday, 11 Premise 2014

…because it appears that an awful lot of local weather people are taking the opportunity to make cracks about global “warming” not being quite so apparent because there’s an extreme cold snap taking place: it’s because we now are starting to experience the effects of global climate change that the blizzard is so much worse than before, chuckleheads!. During the record cold that some parts of the northern hemisphere has been experiencing, parts of the southern hemisphere have been going through a record heat wave. So people need to be made aware that they will be seeing more extreme weather events, of all kinds, and adjust their planning accordingly, because of global climate change – not laugh about how fat Al Gore was to have brought it up in the first place.

It’s not just that these professional (cough) weather people are willfully disseminating false propaganda about, you know, the subject of their supposed expertise – it’s the whole concept of another established profession that should be objectively presenting information to the public being corrupted to the point of deliberately lying to their fellow human beings as a matter of corporate policy.

So, please – I’ll try my best not to curse your name down through the ages if you could try perhaps not making so many, you know, deliberately false and misleading global “warming” jokes while I’m shoveling record amounts of snow off of my driveway.

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And There Was Much More Rejoicing In The Land…

Thursday, 22 Conclusion 2013

… for, lo, another holiday tradition is celebrated, as Your Humble Narrator has assembled a wonderful collection of awesome music for the season once more. Go on over to the link, right-click it, and save the mp3 – you’ll be glad you did!

Perhaps you might have have checked out our previous two offerings already, but this is going to be an ongoing project for as long as I can keep on finding more new holiday tuneage to put together.

So, here’s the gory details from this year’s Xmas Mega Mixx:

Xmas Mega Mixx 2013

New Found Glory-Nothing For Christmas
Matt Wertz-Snow Globe
Brighten ft the Maine-Merry Christmas Baby
Clapton Crow All Stars-Merry Christmas Baby
Donny Hathaway-This Christmas
NOFX-Xmas Has Been X’ed
Train-Shake Up Christmas
Thorso All Stars-The Final Christmas Song
The Ramones-Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Anymore)
Weird Al Yankovic-Christmas At Ground Zero
Relient K-The 12 Days of Christmas
The Wombats-Is This Christmas?
Sufjan Stevens-Christmas In The Room
Kenny Vance and the Planotones-Mr. Santa
Dorothy Collins-Mr. Santa
JD McPherson-Twinkle
Trey Songz and Flo Rida-Jingle Bells
Mayer Hawthorne-Christmas Time Is Here
Jonathan Coulton and John Roderick-Uncle John
You, Me, and Everyone We Know-We’ve Got Diggin’ Out To Do
The Rescues-Everything’s Gonna Be Better Next Year
Kristin Chenoweth-The Christmas Waltz

So now that’s over three hours of holiday music from the Funny Farm Ancient Recording Trove that I can almost guarantee that you won’t hear much of anywhere else.

There are a number of interesting quirks about this year’s selections. I found the original songs with the same names as the long time christmas classics first, and then back filled with one original (Mr. Santa) and one cover (Merry Christmas Baby). I find it quite buzzy that Riko and I both grabbed something from Sufjan Stevens – from completely different sources, I’m guessing – completely independently, this year. I also find it really funky that a lot of the artists in this year’s collection are from right around here in southeastern Michigan. And I really wanted to use the Zooey Deschanel / M. Ward (She and Him) version of The Christmas Waltz, but I really don’t like the ending on any recording of their version of the song that I can find on YouTube, and the Kristin Chenoweth version was one of the least lushly orchestrated versions I can find other than the She and Him one. I was actually hoping to find something from Nora Jones this year as well. But Zooey and F. have a whole album of christmas music to choose from and I’m sure I’ll run into something from Nora one of these years…

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Happy Holidays!

And There Was Much Rejoicing In The Land…

Saturday, 18 Conclusion 2013

… for, lo, a holiday tradition is celebrated, as DJ Riko has assembled a wonderful collection of awesome music for the season once more. Go on over to the link, right-click it, and save the mp3 – you’ll be glad you did!

During the Great Internets Website Wipeout of 2013, a lot of archival content from the Funny Farm’s old host site was not brought forward to the new one; as a result much of the archival content you might be able to find at the wayback Machine for the Funny Farm may be hosed eventually, depending on the requirements and generosity of a lot of people out there* – but for now you can still see most of the bloggy goodness that was there for so long. If you had saved some of the content (pics, video links, etc.) you would still be able to access it today.

One of the things that you haven’t been able to find, until now, has been the Xmas Mega Mixxes that were put together by Your Humble Narrator in years gone by. But, now, I’m going to put them back into general consumption once more:

Xmas Mega Mixx 2011

Ella Fitzgerald – Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Weezer – We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Perry Como – It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
Devo – Merry Something To You
Barenaked Ladies – Hanukkah Oh Hanukkah
Liz Phair – Winter Wonderland
Jane Siberry – Hockey (censored version)
Mary J. Blige – Christmas In The City
Tom Robinson – Truce
Honky Tonk Confidential – Christmas Prison
Billy Paul Williams Orchestra – Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
No Doubt – Oi To The World
Santa’s Got a Brand New Bag (intro) – Gary Walker
Linus & Lucy – Vince Guaraldi Trio
Louis Armstrong – Christmas In New Orleans
Shelly Adams – Snow, Snow, and Mistletoe
Louis Prima – What Will Santa Claus Say?
Blue Mountain Boys – Santabilly Boogie
Billy Ray – Christmas Mambo
Stompin Tom Connors – Merry Christmas Everybody
Lenny & Squiggy – The Jolliest Fat Man
Xmas Jug Band – S A N T A
Lionel Hampton – Boogie Woogie Santa Claus
Surrogate – Rockin Around The Christmas Tree
Dance Hall Crashers – I Did It For The Toys
Swingle Sisters – Xmas Medley

Xmas Mega Mixx 2010
Xmas Mega Mixx 2010

Snoop Dogg-Xmas Into
Robert Earl Keen-Merry Christmas From the Family
Cyndi Lauper-Feels Like Christmas
Eels-Everything’s Gonna Be Cool This Christmas
Grandaddy-Alan Parsons In A Winter Wonderland
Kooky Barnes-Yulesville
Paul Simon-Getting Ready For Christmas Day
Dread Zeppelin-All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
The Kinks -Father Christmas
Guster-Donde Esta Santa Claus
The Fall-Jingle Bell Rock
Bob Dylan-Must Be Santa
XTC-Thanks For Christmas
Kate Bush-December Will Be Magic Again
Yellowman-We Wish You A Reggae Christmas
Ingo Star Cruiser-Just Like Christmas
Jet-Back Door Santa
Louis Cate-Mistlestoin’
Waitresses-Christmas Rapping danse mixx
Bob & Doug McKenzie-The Twelve Days Of Christmas
Les Paul featuring Kathy Parrott-Santa Baby
Electric Jungle-Funky Funky Christmas
Hawk Nelson-The Chipmunk Song

So now that’s over three hours of holiday music that I can almost guarantee that you won’t hear much of anywhere else. And the elves have taken over the Funny Farm Utility Muffin Research Kitchen and there should soon be another Mega Mixx coming out soon.

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* – thanks for wanting to archive things and having the capabilities to do it, thanks to all the web hosts who keep things out there for the archives to find, and thanks for putting in the slog work to make it all continue to function on an ongoing basis.

A Day That Will Live In Infamy

Sunday, 28 Betteroff 2013

The day that Kennedy was assasinated was my third birthday.

It is one of my earliest memories – I can remember thinking how great it was that they had a parade for me on the teevee that day. Thinking back on that day, I can now see my mother’s friend and neighbor, along with my mother, bawling their eyes out while they were watching the events of the day unfold. Not much else stands out for me from that day – then again I was three years old at the time…

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