Category Archives: Republicants

Absolutely Amazing

Tuesday, 6 Conclusion 2016

Apparently the southern states of ths USA are going through natural disasters which are almost biblical. And I have yet to hear from any of the usual religiously insane idiots (like Pat Effing Robertson or Mike The Hucksterbee) about how this is Gawd’s divine retribution for supporting a short fingered disaster monkey in the election. and pissing away any sort of moral high ground that they may have thought they had. Not that that will stop them from being religiously insane pontificating dunsels.

Funny how that works…

Quick Thought For The Day

Sunday, 5 Conclusion 2016

Dear Gerrymandering Republicant Election Thieves:

Do you realize that the nomination of someone to head the Department of Health and Human Services who is determined to dismantle Social Security benefits (including Medicare) is ratcheting up the stress levels of a significant proportion of the amerikkkan people? If so, is it considered a design bonus or a design flaw? Or was it the whole point all along? Because, you know, end times and rapture and all, but also too mass hysteria and cats and dogs living together, and has this really been simulated and rehearsed enough?

I guess we will be finding out shortly…

Quick Question

Saturday, 4 Conclusion 2016

So I hope it’s okay with Barry Effing @crimmins if I try and say something outside of the Twitter feed he thought it best to bully me off, but since this is my world that mothercheneying bully can quip about it all he wants and it won’t mean a frelling thing. As it usually doesn’t…

Anyways,… apparently Forrest Drumpf recently summoned the conservative mainstream media for a private off the record meeting. Hey, at least Darth Cheney waited until after stealing the election to summon the energy execs for his secret off the books cabal…

But I still haven’t seen anyone discuss, much less satisfactorily explain to me, something about this incident. Apparently Hair Fuhror started reaming the networks for their lies and that they should be ashamed of themselves. With a straight face. Apparently in complete ignorance of the irony of something like that coming from his vacuous pie hole.

What I don’t understand: the moment I heard any of this dren coming from the Mafia Owned Don I would have gathered my employees, told this pestilent pile of kimchi where he could stick his comments, leave one junior staff member to record the rest of his childish rant, tell him that this meeting is now on the record, and walked the frak out with the rest of my staff.

Am I missing something? Why did anyone put up with this kind of bullying from this megalomaniac? Why didn’t they call him out on this nonsense? Inquiring minds want to know…

Amerikkka Is so Screwed Right Now

Tuesday, 15 Betteroff, 2016

An orange terror ditto monkey has been electorated as pResident of these United states of Amerikkka*, and while I’m happy that stand-up philosophers will have lots of material for the next four years (at least) I now fear that Emperor Cartagia might make the profession a bit more risky. I’m also sad that the courts will be frelled for generations and prolly Mel Brooks (among others) will not live long enough to see a happy future for this country.

A couple of Republicants that I know personally will be in for a rude shock especially now that their support for T Rump made a crucial difference in the outcome and the joke is not even remotely close to amusing anymore.

And of course now everything here is in flux because when things get canceled and laws get rescinded there will be one more underemployed late 50’s white male hanging around, slowly starving, and unwillingly becoming part of the surplus population…

Share and Enjoy! – soon you may be legally required to do so if you are an amerikkkan citizen

* – it’s spelt that way for at least four years…

More Quick Questions To The Traitourous Hypocritical Republicant Trumplings Who Cast Even More Hypocritical Allegations On The Character Of The Democratic Candidate For President Of The United States Of America

Tuesday, 28 Sweltring 2016

I notice yet more streams of projectile propaganda excrement coming from the usual vacuous pieholes regarding the Clinton Foundation, even more emails – maybe even up to 100 thousand in total! – and junta-like threats of imprisoning political opponents from the campaign of the Orange Julius.

Funny – when the Ray-Guns were selling White House favors, when both PapaDoc and BabyDoc did it, you said nothing.

Also too, almost equally (but even more tragically) funny – BabyDoc lost millions of emails during the illegal immoral war in Iraq. And you blew it off like it was no big deal, and why should anyone even think about bringing it up?

Besides wondering how you can look yourself in the mirror every morning, once again I wonder why you think anyone cares what hypocritical nonsense you spew now?

Inquiring minds want to know…

Quick Question To Any Traitourous Hypocritical Republicant Trumpling Who Questions The Health Of The Democratic Candidate For President Of The United States Of America

Saturday, 26 Sweltring 2016

Why were you silent when you knew Ronnie Ray-Gun had Alzheimiers while running for president in 1984? Why did you say nothing while his cabal ran the country for the rest of his presidency while he drooled quietly into his jellybeans?

And why do you think anyone cares what hypocritical nonsense you spew now?

Inquiring minds want to know…

Minor Correction From The Funny Farm News Burro

Saturday, 12 Sweltring 2016

In the previous post, this website refereed to the Caligula Combover as a Mafia Don – which, if he were, he would not be doing any of the idiotic crap he has been in the first place. No one here wishes to disparage any organizations that might be offended by being considered to be willing to consider the Short Fingered Vulgarian as a member.

While unsure whether Forrest Drumpf still owes a favor to the american mafia, or owes a metric farkton of money to the russian mafia, or both, The Funny Farm News Burro wishes to refer to Agent Orange as Bought And Owned By The Mafia Don instead of Mafia Don.

Quick Questions To The pResidential Campaign Of The Short Fingered Trumperor That The Republicants Should Be Ashamed To Be Inflicting On The American People

Friday, 10 Sweltring 2016

Besides being major league arseholes to anyone approaching my level of distaste for the trainwreck you laughingly call a party platform, your town halls*, your press conferences**, and your ever-shifting Policy positions***, I’m wondering if there are still foreigners who are receiving email solicitations from your campaign. Maybe a Trumpling would care to point me to somewhere an update on the situation can be found?

Also, too – I understand that people are unable to stop recurring donations to your campaign once they have started. As a computer programmer who could fix something like that in less time than it took you to embarass yourself with your shameful behavior to the families of military veterans, I’m wondering if you can still pass this off as a bug to the patsies who got phished into that scam…

Which brings me to the real question I have: no matter how many times I unsubscribe to receive any communication from your general direction, no matter how much I report you to Hotmail as a phishing scam, no matter how much I block your steaming loads of Republicant kimchi – I still receive daily emails from your slanderous propaganda outlets. Multiple emails. Every day.

I’m wondering if you think that this is a Yuuuuuge strategery, an amaaaazing strategery, or a fantaaatstic strategery in terms of how likely this will make me want to consider any Republicant ever for any office for the rest of my voting span? Do you think that the Nigerian prince scam is a good internets business model?

Inquiring minds want to know…

* – which are so unlike the “town halls” that you meticulously planned to disrupt proceedings when it didn’t suit your agenda to cause some to wonder if doublethink has now been incorporated into Republicant Party lingo by Newtie and the Boyz

** – which have also taken the term “press conference” to hitherto unknown realms as far as reality is concerned…

*** – speaking of which, it is interesting that no one seems to be constantly questioning the Mafia Don about his silly wall which is probably hundreds of feet high by now with super nega-ray scanners that will identify humanoids before they get within 100 feet of the border and let the good ones (cough) through so they can get to their jobs on time…

Quick Note To The Traitourous Farging Republicant Iceholes Running This Country (Into the Ground)

Thursday, 30 Shivring 2016

It is my sincere wish that one day the Democratic Party does exactly the same thing that you have done to the first African American president, who won both of his elections by a larger margin than anyone since Red Ink Ray-Gun. Declare him illegitimate from day one, obstruct everything and anything that comes from his office, and constantly bring legislation up to dismantle anything he does accomplish.

Republicants have obstructed everything that this president has tried to do and continue to do so at unprecedented levels. There are those of us out in the real world who feel as strongly about unethical illegal Republicant shenanigans as the Republicants do when real people express any sort of objections to his fascist agenda. It would be interesting (although in all probability completely predictable) to watch the Republicants caterwauling about being treated the same way that they treat others. It would be interesting to see the reaction by the american people if liberals started shooting up everything and everyone in sight the way Republicant domestic terrorists have been doing since the moment Obama was legally elected. It would be astounding if the right wing media covered the Republicant campaign of domestic terrorism over the last seven years in an even remotely balanced manner. And it would be supremely appropriate to let all the republicant enablers out there who says that “both parties are the same” see what life would be like if their bullhockey about both parties were actually even somewhere close to reality.

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On a related side note, I apologize to the rest of the american people for the blinkered Republicant philistines that are the majority of the rest of my relatives. My mother had no problems with the Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter (During Wartime) taking away my employment, giving away half of the treasury to his rich friends, putting tax giveaways to the rich in place with a bunch of Republicant lies, ruining the world economy, ruining 5000+ families by sending their best and brightest to be killed in an illegitimate illegal war, and treating anyone who objected to their fascist schemes as a traitor. But she can’t even say Obama’s name because she has been having nightmares that the U.S. might make her pay capital gains taxes on her Canadian property at some unknown unspecified time in the future*. And she’s one of the more rational of my relatives…

* – the property would need to be valued at over two million dollars (it’s not) and she would need not to have a gazillion deductions (she does) or alternate methods to make the property not eligible for this treatment (which she also has). Mind you, the increased cost of renouncing american citizenship (it’s currently $2,350) and the requirement for foreign nationals to file income taxes have not helped the situation any…