Category Archives: Nostalgia

The Two Thousand Dollar Album

Friday, 19 Premise 2014

Here’s another bit of nostalgia from the archives:

Originally posted on Friday, 10 Sweltring 2010

I have a two thousand dollar album in my CD collection that you can purchase from CD Baby for $5.99! Let me tell you all about it…

the most expensive album in my collection

I recently received an update from a former co-worker, telling me about the latest news with regards to the album he (and his friend) released while I was working with him at SearsMart. Apparently, they now have an international top 10 hit from the album, according to the International Association of Independent Recording Artists (IAIRA). So I guess congratulations are in order for C T H S (Cortez Taylor and Herman Stacy), and hopefully this the start of something big for them.

I was one of his fellow employees at SearsMart for a number of years until my area got melded into his. I eventually learned that he was one of the few people whose views were even close to mine about, well, pretty much everything* in the new group I was now part of. And I eventually managed to find my way into the pecking order (our group went under the unofficial title of the department of grump bunnies) and hang out with Cortez and a few others** at break time, go to lunch together, etc.

So it was that I learned of his music, his potential upcoming album, and his need of additional capital in order to get the job done. Two thousand dollars of additional capital. Being well ahead in my own financial recovery plan at the time, I was able to find the resources to lend a hand to a friend. I got a promissory note with an excellent return on my investment. And a pretty good piece of music was released to the public – good enough for an international top 10 hit at the time of this posting.

Unfortunately, no good deed goes unpunished. C T H S made the payments (more or less) on time for the first six months, but then Cortez got zapped by the IRS and this happened and that happened, and, well, it’s now the middle of 2010. And Your Humble Narrator is still waiting for a still gainfully employed member of the SearsMart family and a motherCheneying Christian minister*** to get their act together and honor their debt.

Actually, I’m not waiting any more – Cortez now needs his cash to trick out his daughter’s beemer and probably didn’t even know he told me the news about the album via the power of automagic email updates. And, if there’s an Invisible Sky Fairy****, there have been no updates from that area regarding this particular situation with one of their spokespersons. No – I’m putting this out onto the internets so that any future investors will be a bit less trusting than I was should C T H S request additional investment capital.

Yes – I could have taken them to small claims court. But I’m pretty sure it’s too late for that now, I’m not all that interested in another adventure within the justice (cough) system, and I’m not sure I have enough resources to take that project on (I’ve taken previous ‘friends’ to court before, and it wasn’t all that and a bag of chips, if you get my drift). And I’m not all that into burning bridges these days and still have a faint hope that Cortez (at least) will do the right thing and finally take care of this problem.

Update Friday, 19 Premise 2014: and now it’s 2014, and I can’t find much of an internets presence for the group. Lots of places to purchase the album, at varying prices, over a lot of outlets (Amazon, iTunes, etc) – but not a lot about the artists themselves. I’m not particularly inclined to tilt at that particular windmill anyways. But it would be nice one day to update this post so that it doesn’t provide anecdotal evidence that ministers of traditional christian religious organizations are thieving weasels who should be shunned in polite society.

* – a lot of Rush Limbaugh fans, several card carrying members of the Gawd Squad, some “moderates” who really don’t want to be bothered with all the nonsense and just want to bring their families up and enjoy life (and/or don’t let it intrude into their business persona), and me.

** – the other culprits shall remain unidentified here; but fellow SearsMart employees of the time would easily be able to fill in the blanks.

*** – it seems to me to be particularly appalling to find yet another so-called servant of Gawd having no problem screwing over his fellow man.

**** – which I seriously doubt – so much so that I hesitate to even use the phrase, except in particularly ironically appropriate situations such as these.

A Day That Will Live In Infamy

Sunday, 28 Betteroff 2013

The day that Kennedy was assasinated was my third birthday.

It is one of my earliest memories – I can remember thinking how great it was that they had a parade for me on the teevee that day. Thinking back on that day, I can now see my mother’s friend and neighbor, along with my mother, bawling their eyes out while they were watching the events of the day unfold. Not much else stands out for me from that day – then again I was three years old at the time…

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Funny Farm Memorial Sendoffs

Thursday, 3 Betteroff, 2013

Since it seems to happen more and more frequently as time goes on, I thought it might be interesting to note some of the ever expanding set of people who are Funny Farm Favorites but have departed this mortal coil.

Last week saw a couple of our influential faves cease to be: Lou Reed and Marcia Wallace.

Lou gets considerable props in my book for (i) bring married to Laurie Anderson; and (ii) inspiring generations of musicians with his work. He had extensive invasive medical procedures over the last little while and was over seventy years old.

And Marcia Wallace, who besides being well known as the voice of Edna Krabapple in the Simpsons, was Bob Newhart’s secretary in his original TV series, and somebody that seemed to be invited for a guest role in a bunch of teevee series – when she wasn’t starring as part of an ensemble cast in one. And oh boy am I dating myself but she was also on Match Game, Hollywood Squares, Super Password and Password Plus, and, among so many others that I have no desire to link to them all here, something called Body Language. A true inspiration to smart a$$es for a long, long time.

It is the nature of this thing called life that, as time marches on, more and more of our fellow travelers fall by the wayside. And it is to be hoped that those who march on can find some small bit of fortitude somewhere along the way because of the many inspirational efforts of those who have made an impact for us in days gone by. Thanks…

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Happy Blogaversary To Me!

Tuesday, 10 Wintring 2013

My, how the time flies as the years progress! I can hardly believe that we’ve made it to Wintring already – just like I can hardly believe that it was eleven years ago today that I first spewed forth some bloggy goodness onto the internets. I’m still banging the rocks together, but these days I’m more of a hoopy frood who knows where his towel is at and less of a party animal with a fantastic girlfriend and reasonable gainful employment as a cog in some big corporate machine.

During those eleven years, among other things, I’ve found a whole bunch of interesting characters out in the wilds of liberal blogsylvannia, gotten some good therapeutic rants out about the state of the world that decided to interact with me, survived four years of unenjoyment entrepreneurial freedom emptying out the meager remnants of my (cough) retirement fund left over from the corpo-weasel raiders of the Bush years unemployment, and almost had a tree fall on my house. I started this blog in a wake of a wonderful Bartfest held in the fall of 2002, and the excitement of finding like-minded individuals who weren’t falling for, nor happy with, the unending hypocritical kimchi coming from the Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter (During Wartime) and all of his fellow Republicant welfare queens. We went home from Las Vegas, hopeful that the 2002 midterms would signal a slight return to sanity. Our herd of cats, whose ideal outcome would have been somewhere between a liberal version of the current Republicant abomination and a Democratic House and/or Senate, thought that maybe the adults in the room would stop sending pallets of unmarked bills to Iraq, or even focus on reversing their spending spree and their turning of Clinton era surpluses into Republicant red ink, once the midterms had corrected the course of the ship of state slightly. Which indirectly led to the incident which cemented my decision to leave Hazeltucky Hazel Park for more tolerant environs*.

But I digress…

I started out with a site on blogspot, and then migrated to using the web host for my good friend Bartcop in April of 2004. Earlier this year, I signed up with another web host and have been sporadically updating the site since. I have even been introducing some of my previous posts here using the Funny Farm Archival Retrospective Tracking System. Here’s another one that just sort of popped up:


No Wonder That Frelling Irony Alert Siren Keeps Going Off

No, I can’t believe that even a Republicant would be arrogantly idiotic enough to say this:

“It’s extremely difficult to govern when you control all three branches of government”

Er, when would it be any less difficult than when you can do whatever you want to do think is best for the country? When you can finally do things exactly the way you think will work best?

originally posted on Friday. 2 Infusion 2004 at the Funny Farm


The more things change…

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* – A Story For Another Time…

Like, How’s It Goin’, Eh?

Sunday, 25 Falltring 2013

Life goes on – I am starting to get a few things, work-wise, to keep me focused on trying to get into a position of increased usefulness to the company store for which I have now sold my soul, and I have survived another work week.

But these days I am able to enjoy the infotainment wasteland that is generally found on Friday afternoons with an oddly familiar distraction that I haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying since the days of my youth in the Great White North. ESPN2 is broadcasting the CFL on Friday nights this year.

So, during those suddenly empty Friday evenings over the summer, I have been able to catch Friday Night Hoserball here and there. It reminds me that there is a couple of places up in the Big Smoke where some of my friends are tweaking their televisions and huddling under awnings and porches while they enjoy a smoke and an adult beverage. Maybe one of these days I might actually make it back to see them – but for now I can certainly have an adult beverage in remembrance of days gone by. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend and looking forward to lots of exciting adventures (or lots of peace and quiet while others go on exciting adventures) over the next couple of days.

Another Blast From The Past

Saturday, 10 Falltring 2103

Here’s another bit of nostalgia courtesy of the Funny Farm Archival Retrospective Tracking System:

Originally published on Humpday, 17 Premise 2008. Most of the links are bloggered

If you’ve been visiting the Funny Farm on at least a semi-regular basis, you probably might have guessed by now that the abuse of individuals’ spirituality and faith by the various religious organizations out there is somewhat of a hot button issue ’round these parts. Being a (very) orthodox Catholic during my formative years might have something to do with that, as it enabled me to get a first hand perspective on the situation. Many have taken that to mean that I’m down on religion per se. That is not the case – if you want to believe that robots are stealing your luggage or that alien souls have been implanting themselves in human hosts for the past 75 million years, feel free to do so. Go ahead and have faith in whatever you think you should.

Having said that, the part that frosts my cookies is where those who are ostensibly leading their religious flocks start abusing that power in order to enrich themselves, persecute others, and/or justify their actions. Those that do this sort of thing, as well as those who (seemingly) are blindly following the dictates of their religious leader (when that religious leader starts engaging in this sort of behavior), are the ones that I refer to as the religiously insane. I have gotten a lot of grief from many who seem to be taking these kinds of statements personally. To them I say: if you are allowing your religious beliefs to influence your business activities, your willingness to obey the laws of the land when they do not agree with your religious beliefs, or your personal interactions with those who do not believe the same way you do (or engage in activities that your religious beliefs say require you to kill/ruin/persecute them), then, in my opinion, you are engaging in religiously insane behavior.

Quite frankly, one of the problems I have with those who I do not consider to have gone into teh gawd madness is that they don’t seem to be too concerned with those who have been abusing their faith. This tends to make me think that they are somewhat in agreement with the more radical elements of their faith, and by and large wish that they would tone the rhetoric down (as opposed to wishing that they would discontinue it altogether). This, in my opinion, gives the more radical elements tacit support for their actions. A good example of this is the anti-choice position held by most religions. We’ll be getting to some extreme examples of their current activities, but for now let’s just say that, because the majority of christians do not condemn these people for their militant (and borderline illegal) activities, those radical elements are not being pressured to stop pushing the boundaries of socially acceptable behavior. And so they continue to harrass those who activities they don’t agree with because they think their Invisible Sky Fairy told them to.

Here’s an example to show you when I consider this type of activity has crossed the line:

One of my siblings has told me, and I suspect the majority of the rest of my family would agree with him, that he thinks that Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of the Christ is just as factually accurate (if not more) than Michael Moore’s Sicko. This is not religious insanity in my books. I do not think he is correct in his beliefs, but I don’t think he’s religiously insane because he believes what he believes in this instance. Now, if he were to be a member of the US House of Representatives, and he were to sponsor a bill that would legally define these two movies to be equally factually accurate, or he were to force others to watch either or both of those movies (for edumacational purposes), then he would have crossed that line and gone off the deep end.

Now, here’s what has appeared on my radar this week which I would place in the category of religious insanity:

Apparently someone murdered her children because she thought they were possessed by demons;

A man cut off his hand and them put it in the microwave because he thought it had the mark of the beast on it;

A man killed and cooked his girlfriend because he thought God told him to do it * -;

A number of counties in Florida are trying to put religious dogma into science classes because they believe a “theory” with no scientific proof should be considered the same as a scientific theory with over 150 years of scientific data that supports it;

and, finally, in Orlando, Florida, anti-choicers put a billboard up displaying a dismembered foetus a few blocks away from the local abortion clinic. Just to drive the guilt meter up a few notches for those loose strumpets who dare to exercise their legal rights. A few anti-choicers have defended this practice by saying that, even if it’s just one person that they can harass enough so that they’ll be forced to bring a child into the world, it’s worth all the nightmares that innocent children who have to look at their crap suffer from for the rest of their lives. If you don’t want to have an abortion, then don’t have one. But please don’t foist your definition of life (based on what you think the Big Book of Christian Fairy Tales says it is) on anyone else. Thanks in advance…

Please note that this is only a sampling of the relatively well-published stories of one flavor of religious insanity over the last week. I’m relatively sure that I could include items from most of the major religions, and probably quite a few of the minor sects, too…

* – funny – I had to search through multiple articles about this horrific incident before the little tidbit about God telling him to do it could be found. And after seeing it in the majority of articles I read earlier in the week – almost as though the mainstream media is trying to get us to forget that this nutbar was Jeebus inspired…

Tribute To A Good Friend

Saturday, 28 Promise 2013

Over a year ago, an acquaintance of mine made mention of the fact that her niece was looking for a place to stay. She was living with her parents and trying to help raise one of her children while struggling with a serious case of Crohn’s Disease and some serious psychological issues. But her heart was in the right place, she was trying as hard as she could to be a good person, and she was hoping to help everyone’s situation out by relieving the pressure and tension involved in living with your parents and your daughter (and having your sister and her children living right next door to boot) where there are, almost automatically by default, a lot of social, emotional, and financial pressures to deal with.

So, being in need of some financial help myself, and being the old softy that I am, I let her rent a room in my house. She pretty much had her own bathroom, and use of the common areas in the house. She would go back and forth between my place and her parents’, and visit them for days at a time. Her daughter was glad to come over and stay with her, and it seemed to make everyone happy. Life was good.

Her daughter has been staying with her – wherever she has been staying – pretty much since school ended this year. It looked to Your Humble Narrator as though they were both having a lot of fun together and enjoying the time spent with each other. And they were at my home, in their room and all around the place, since they got back from their adventure this weekend.

Yesterday had a number of events come together in my personal life. I finally got another sleep study done (results will be delivered sometime next week, and I should finally be able to get some new CPAP equipment after twelve years) on Tuesday night, and Wednesday was Take Your Child To Work Work From Home Day at the office. So, I got up Wednesday morning hooked to a bunch of wires, got unhooked from a bunch of wires at around six in the morning, showered off most of the goop they use to keep the wires hooked up during the sleep study, then headed for home and a nice day at the office. I made it home just before seven, and all was quiet – her door was closed and everyone was asleep, as far as I knew. So I set up at the kitchen table and started work a bit early – I was hoping to use the extra half hour at the end of the day to get the place ready for a visit from the Sig-O. Life was looking very good.

About 9:30 or so, I was sitting at the kitchen table, looking out at the beautiful view into the woods behind my house, when her daughter came running out of her room, informing me that her mother wasn’t breathing any more. I ran into the bedroom and tried as best as I could to administer CPR to her. But when the paramedics came they said she had been gone for a while already, and there was nothing I or anyone else could do to save her.

Michelle Lynn Bothwell died early on Wednesday, July 24, 2013. The world will be a little less cheerful and bright without her. Please join me in expressing your sorrow and sympathy to her friends and family.

Days Of Glory Gone By

Saturday, 18 Infusion 2013

As a former deejay who has entertained at hundreds of weddings, it has been my pleasure to see many unusual events take place.* Lots of choreographed dancing by various sub groups of the wedding party, different variations on the usual stuff, that sort of thing. Some of the ones that really stood out for me were:

– the wedding party that was held in a high school gymnasium / auditorium where the limo that took the bride and groom away dove on to the dance floor to whisk them away after their last dance of the night
– my first training gig, where I met one of my best friends, ran out of gas, and watched a bride and groom try to drive off in their car after someone had tinkered with it and hooked the brake pedal up to the horn, so that whenever they hit the brakes the horn would sound
– when one of my cousins got married, and one of his brothers gave the wrong directions to the DJ so they got to the wedding a few hours late**
– the couple who showed up for their last dance in ski outfits and hit the local slopes on the day they were married
– the wedding that a good friend and I pre-recorded so we could party at the wedding, where I had to start veering from the pre-recording after about fifteen minutes, didn’t have enough of the right material for the crowd, ended the wedding party by nine o’clock (right after the dessert plate got hurriedly set up waaaaaay early), had a big fight with my girlfriend at the time, flooded the car (but finally got it started), and generally had one of the worst days of my life

I also featured a wonderful video of a flash mob doing something for a bride and groom recently. So I’d like to add a couple of noteworthy achievements to that list.

They both share a common theme: a bridal party that suddenly faces great danger, and has to make a run for it:

Wedding Party Chased by T-Rex

Wedding Party Chased by Imperial Walkers

Thanks to (I think) Bartcop for pointing me to the first picture, and Shakesville for pointing me to the second one…

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* – public inebriation would be one of the more common events taking place at a wedding celebration. Some of the events arising from groups of inebriated people, however, have risen into unusual territory…

** – I said unusual. I didn’t say good.

Back To The Beginning

Humpday, 11 Goodenuf 2013

Here’s a bit of nostalgia courtesy of the Funny Farm Archival Retrospective Tracking System:

Greetings from the Funny Farm!

I have to start off by saying a big hello to all you froody molochiks and “all intelligent lifeforms everywhere… and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.” Funny Farm Fact Finding Quiz: can you name the author of that quote? Where does molochik and froody come from?

To start off with, it’s good to be back. I just got back from a whirlwind trip across the country. I managed to snag tickets to a little party called BartFest 2002 in Las Vegas, NV at the Rio hotel and casino/resort – as well as a beautiful suite at the Rio in the sky overlooking the Strip! Also managed to snag a late set from a fabulous guitar player named Bruce Conti (at the Gold Coast across the street), along with a very nice CD of his work. And a show from Penn and Teller. And a trip through some of the casinos: the Luxor, Excalibur, NYNY, the new (2002) Aladdin. And a trip to the big light show and casinos downtown (where I managed to pay for the buffet and then some at the blackjack tables – yayy!)… so much to see and do in Vegas! I hardly got a chance to drink it all in…

And I’m going to give you just a taste of the mental intertwinings permeating my spanktuary before letting you meaunder around your life journeys: lots and lots of people will be protesting the proposed war in Iraq this weekend (the first weekend in October 2002). Will the Media Whores notice? Or seek to ridicule and downplay them? Will they be a success, or will we see some sort of Homeland Security shenanigans go down? And will any of it change the attitude of the American people between now and the mid-term elections only a month away? Inquiring minds want to know…*

based on the original post at the Original Funny Farm by (: Tom 🙂 at 10/05/2002 02:42:00 PM

* – of course, we all know how that turned out – the Republicants got re-electorated and the Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter (During Wartime) got his illicit illegitimate war with Iraq.  Booyah!