Category Archives: Infotainment

Blast From The Past

Humpday, 11 Wintring 2016

Here’s a little something I first posted in Falltring (roughly Septemberish) 2005:


Update From The Front

Tuesday, 26 Falltring 2005

We aren’t sure if there are many of you out there who have even heard of the Veggie Van, much less keep up with its’ adventures in traveling around the country and promoting biodiesel as an alternative to petroleum based fuel.

However, we have to tell you that Josh Tickell has been busy in the last few weeks helping out with NOLA disaster recovery*. Here’s the latest update on his activities, as well as a request for some assistance. If you live in the Altanta area, we would like to ask that you pay particular attention to this message:

Dear Friends,

Thank you for your continued donations and support for our relief work in Louisiana. If you are reading this email, then our ship has passed the Gulf oil derricks and dipped back into cell phone coverage, and we are likely close to, or inside of the mouth of the Mississippi River. It has been an amazing voyage and I will soon have updates available on my blog at

Until then, we need help organizing the next portion of the Veggie Van’s trip across the Southeast.

We are in need of the following:

1) A car and driver to follow the Veggie Van from Lake Charles, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia. We will depart from Lake Charles on Wed. Sept. 21 and arrive in Atlanta on Saturday Sept 24. (This may slide forward a day depending on conditions). Car and driver will travel with
a cameraperson to get shots from the road. We will be staying with families affected by the Katrina disaster. This is semi-voluntary work. We will pay for your food, fuel and take care of your accommodations as well as give you $25/day.

2) A qualified diesel or truck mechanic in Atlanta, Georgia that can take receipt of the Veggie Van upon arrival. Known problems so far include a coolant hose that must be replaced and a leaking brake system. Other problems may arise with the old van before she lands in

3) A friend who can offer two or three people a place to stay in Atlanta for one night.

4) A safe place to keep the Veggie Van in Atlanta for about a month. The van is 21 feet long, 8.5 feet wide and 8 foot 8 inches tall.

Please let us know if you can help us on this incredible voyage by emailing the item you can help with and your contact details to:

And don’t forget to read my blog and listen to my audio updates on

Thank you!

Josh Tickell

We wish Josh all the best in his efforts, and ask once more: if you’re in metro Altanta, and you can give him and his group some assistance, please consider doing so. You’ll be glad you did!

* – amazing how progressives seem to be helping out without even being asked, or being concerned about their profit margins on the recovery work. Funny how that works…


I am happy to report that Josh is still around and interested in helping anyone who would like to try and tyransition from fossil fuels to more sustainable alternatives. I have sent a message and might even update the studio audience if I get any information to update you with.

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What is Fourteen In Internets Years?

Tuesday, 10 Wintring 2016

…because right around now in 2002 I first posted to my first website on the wild world web and joined blogtopia (y! sctp!). But now I have seemingly grown tired of screaming into the wilderness here on my site.

However, all is not lost! there’s this Twitter thing; turns out a long time heavyweight liberal ex-blogger and I enjoy bouncing our mental savagery against each other and I’ve hammered meself a few hypocritical farging Republicant iceholes and worked off some stress while trying to act as a basic force for good in our time. So there’s that…

Not sure when I’m coming up for air again, but it’s also too almost time to start getting this year’s Xmas MegaMixx together, so if you would like to email me any requests for Xmas songs to be included in this year’s mix, fire away.

More Quick Questions To The Traitourous Hypocritical Republicant Trumplings Who Cast Even More Hypocritical Allegations On The Character Of The Democratic Candidate For President Of The United States Of America

Tuesday, 28 Sweltring 2016

I notice yet more streams of projectile propaganda excrement coming from the usual vacuous pieholes regarding the Clinton Foundation, even more emails – maybe even up to 100 thousand in total! – and junta-like threats of imprisoning political opponents from the campaign of the Orange Julius.

Funny – when the Ray-Guns were selling White House favors, when both PapaDoc and BabyDoc did it, you said nothing.

Also too, almost equally (but even more tragically) funny – BabyDoc lost millions of emails during the illegal immoral war in Iraq. And you blew it off like it was no big deal, and why should anyone even think about bringing it up?

Besides wondering how you can look yourself in the mirror every morning, once again I wonder why you think anyone cares what hypocritical nonsense you spew now?

Inquiring minds want to know…

Quick Question To Any Traitourous Hypocritical Republicant Trumpling Who Questions The Health Of The Democratic Candidate For President Of The United States Of America

Saturday, 26 Sweltring 2016

Why were you silent when you knew Ronnie Ray-Gun had Alzheimiers while running for president in 1984? Why did you say nothing while his cabal ran the country for the rest of his presidency while he drooled quietly into his jellybeans?

And why do you think anyone cares what hypocritical nonsense you spew now?

Inquiring minds want to know…

Quick Questions To The pResidential Campaign Of The Short Fingered Trumperor That The Republicants Should Be Ashamed To Be Inflicting On The American People

Friday, 10 Sweltring 2016

Besides being major league arseholes to anyone approaching my level of distaste for the trainwreck you laughingly call a party platform, your town halls*, your press conferences**, and your ever-shifting Policy positions***, I’m wondering if there are still foreigners who are receiving email solicitations from your campaign. Maybe a Trumpling would care to point me to somewhere an update on the situation can be found?

Also, too – I understand that people are unable to stop recurring donations to your campaign once they have started. As a computer programmer who could fix something like that in less time than it took you to embarass yourself with your shameful behavior to the families of military veterans, I’m wondering if you can still pass this off as a bug to the patsies who got phished into that scam…

Which brings me to the real question I have: no matter how many times I unsubscribe to receive any communication from your general direction, no matter how much I report you to Hotmail as a phishing scam, no matter how much I block your steaming loads of Republicant kimchi – I still receive daily emails from your slanderous propaganda outlets. Multiple emails. Every day.

I’m wondering if you think that this is a Yuuuuuge strategery, an amaaaazing strategery, or a fantaaatstic strategery in terms of how likely this will make me want to consider any Republicant ever for any office for the rest of my voting span? Do you think that the Nigerian prince scam is a good internets business model?

Inquiring minds want to know…

* – which are so unlike the “town halls” that you meticulously planned to disrupt proceedings when it didn’t suit your agenda to cause some to wonder if doublethink has now been incorporated into Republicant Party lingo by Newtie and the Boyz

** – which have also taken the term “press conference” to hitherto unknown realms as far as reality is concerned…

*** – speaking of which, it is interesting that no one seems to be constantly questioning the Mafia Don about his silly wall which is probably hundreds of feet high by now with super nega-ray scanners that will identify humanoids before they get within 100 feet of the border and let the good ones (cough) through so they can get to their jobs on time…

And Now For Something Completely Different…

Fryday, 3 Conclusion 2015

…at least, something different here at the Funny Farm.

You may have notices a certain lack of regularity frequency existence of bloggy goodness coming from this direction over the past six months. The necessities of the current dire straits being experienced by Your Humble Narrator have forced me to abandon my $200 a month UVerse habit* and explore alternative methods of survival. For those of you who might want to try and contact me, for now, if you try and call any number you might have for me, you probably will get a message telling you that the number is no longer in service. You can still email me and I will pick emails up in the infrequent intervals that I will be able to find time and internets access.

I wish I had more to add to this update but I can’t think of anything to say other than can somebody please stop this ride because I don’t think I can take much more of this and I would really like to get off now.

* – quick note to UVerse – when I say I’m having problems trying to pay Comcast/Xfinity $170 a month for the all-in-one (cable, internet, and phone service) bundle that the original deal said was going to be $100, it would be advisable to tell me the truth regarding your replacement for said Comcast/Xfinity bundle. When your salesweasels told me, a year ago, that Uverse would replace my Comcast/Xfinity bundle with their own all-in-one solution for those services, I should have known you were lying from the word go. I am glad that it only took a year’s worth of a service contract to straighten this out. Now I have to scramble to find replacements for the infotainment feed that was streaming into my melon on a constant basis, or re-learn how things were in the before time, when the internets were few and far between…

Still Not Dead Yet…

Fryday, 26 Betteroff 2015

…although not regularly connected to the internets (I have successfully quit a $200 a month habit – I got rid of my infotainments contract with UVerse) any more.

Barely hanging on to the house and my sanity. It would be nice to be able to look forward to the holidays and the new year one of these decades, but the Republicants have pretty much screwed the pooch on those hopes, financially speaking, for the rest of my non-retirement years. I have yet to hear any sort of coherent reasoning behind supporting pResident Chump’s attempt to buy the White House in 2016*. And the rest of the Republicant clown car looks even worse. Of course they now have some scary Mooslimoid boogeymen to go along with the hundreds of millions (cough) of scary Mexicans illegally streaming into the land of the free and the home of the brave every day while Obama waves them in. But I digress…

Trying to piece together this year’s Xmas Mega Mixx, so feel free to email any suggestions this way. Also too any lovely lose piles of excess currency you might have lying around the house. Have a good turkey day and hope to be back soon…

* – Fearless Funny Farm Prediction: If Chump wins and becomes pResident, he will become a trillionaire but millions will lose their Social Security and Medicare benefits, their houses, and all their worldly posessions. Also too: four words that should strike fear in any sane human – Drug Czar Ted Nugent.

Wish Sandwiches and Ricochet Biscuits That Don’t Bounce Back

Humpday, 9 Reckning 2015

Things keep getting bleaker here at the Funny Farm. The bills are getting paid to date; but that might be coming to an end soon – unless I can eliminate enough of them to make the E2E ratio* slightly closer to being manageable. Still no sight of land gainful employment. No nice clanky bits of loose change, delicate fivers thrust deep into bulging wallets, pert pieces of copper coinage thrust deep into trouser pockets, apologetic foreign money rolling against the thigh with ever diminishing familiarity…

Sorry. But I need money. Any money. I haven’t found any generous benefactors willing to toss big bags of bills towards either The Midling Calendar or The Church of The Afternoon Nap even though I feel the church’s message is much more meaningful and relevant than anything coming from the vacuous melon of the Hucksterbee, the Frothy Mix, Caribou Barbie, or the Girl With The Faraway Eyes, especially as it relates to not getting knickers in a twist over cats and dogs living together in what they consider to be sinful in the eyes of their Invisible Sky Fairy. Which, once again according to my religious beliefs, should be of absolutely no concern of mine or anyone else besides their own damn selves. Plus also too: what these individuals believe or do not believe should have absolutely no effect on the laws and regulations that are the law of the land, and I should not be required to waste one iota of consideration of their beliefs in order to function in society.

Unfortunately, I can see no solution to the ongoing situational issues that I will have to deal with for the forseeable future. Hopefully things will change for the better one of these days. And, if you are interested in trying to help please feel free to email me and let me know how you would be interested in helping me find a way to survive until such time as I can solve the money problem.

Hoping you’re having a bit of a better time of it…

*E2E = Earnings to Effort. Maximizing the E2E ratio is key to maintaining a semblance of sanity and minimizing the stress involved in survival for Your Humble Narrator.

Another Sign Of The Apocalypse

Tuesday, 10 Goodenuf 2015

Rob Ford (yes, that Rob Ford) has been appointed to the Hockey Hall of Fame’s Board of Directors*. By actual human beings. On purpose**.

While I am relatively sure that, even with creative interpretation that stretches the very concept of prophecy, there has been no mention of this in any of the various Great Big Books Of Religious Fairy Tales, I’m thinking that this predilection was so far out of the bounds of reality that even the framers of the various denominations couldn’t figure out a way to shoehorn something that far out there into their fables.

And, IMHO, as far as all this nonsense in concerned, it doesn’t matter whether Ford was put on the Board or he was hired to be the night watchman at the Hall of Fame, or, for that matter, any position that involves the NHL providing any sort of compensation whatsoever to Mr. Ford. It was an immediate source of ridicule and poor judgement of the parties involved for the talking heads dog and pony show experts on television

* – or he’s been electorated to the Hockey Hall of Fame Board of Directors. Either way, actual humans were involved and had to sign off on this decision…

** – as far as I know. I mean, this appointment wasn’t made or announced on the First of April, or anything like that…

Time Is Running Out

Humpday, 6 Priming 2015

Lately I have been reading a series of fan fiction essays that are a slightly different take on the magical world of Hogwarts called Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. It’s based on a couple of tweaks to the Harry Potter origin story, and takes a logical path through the world of magic as much as possible. There have been one hundred and twenty chapters mentioned, but as of this writing there are one hundred and thirteen completed and posted to the internets, and apparently there might only be one very short chapter if things don’t work out by midnight tonight (Pacific Standard Time):

This is your final exam.

You have 60 hours.

Your solution must at least allow Harry to evade immediate death, despite being naked, holding only his wand, facing 36 Death Eaters plus the fully resurrected Lord Voldemort.

If a viable solution is posted before *12:01AM Pacific Time* (8:01AM UTC) on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2015, the story will continue to Ch. 121.

Otherwise you will get a shorter and sadder ending.

Keep in mind the following:

1. Harry must succeed via his own efforts. The cavalry is not coming. Everyone who might want to help Harry thinks he is at a Quidditch game.

2. Harry may only use capabilities the story has already shown him to have; he cannot develop wordless wandless Legilimency in the next 60 seconds.

3. Voldemort is evil and cannot be persuaded to be good; the Dark Lord’s utility function cannot be changed by talking to him.

4. If Harry raises his wand or speaks in anything except Parseltongue, the Death Eaters will fire on him immediately.

5. If the simplest timeline is otherwise one where Harry dies – if Harry cannot reach his Time-Turner without Time-Turned help – then the Time-Turner will not come into play.

6. It is impossible to tell lies in Parseltongue.

Within these constraints, Harry is allowed to attain his full potential as a rationalist, now in this moment or never, regardless of his previous flaws.

Of course ‘the rational solution’, if you are using the word ‘rational’ correctly, is just a needlessly fancy way of saying ‘the best solution’ or ‘the solution I like’ or ‘the solution I think we should use’, and you should usually say one of the latter instead. (We only need the word ‘rational’ to talk about ways of thinking, considered apart from any particular solutions.)

And by Vinge’s Principle, if you know exactly what a smart mind would do, you must be at least that smart yourself. Asking someone “What would an optimal player think is the best move?” should produce answers no better than “What do you think is best?”

So what I mean in practice, when I say Harry is allowed to attain his full potential as a rationalist, is that Harry is allowed to solve this problem the way YOU would solve it. If you can tell me exactly how to do something, Harry is allowed to think of it.

But it does not serve as a solution to say, for example, “Harry should persuade Voldemort to let him out of the box” if you can’t yourself figure out how.

The rules on Fanfiction dot Net allow at most one review per chapter. Please submit *ONLY ONE* review of Ch. 113, to submit one suggested solution.

For the best experience, if you have not already been following Internet conversations about recent chapters, I suggest not doing so, trying to complete this exam on your own, not looking at other reviews, and waiting for Ch. 114 to see how you did.

I wish you all the best of luck, or rather the best of skill.

Ch. 114 will post at 10AM Pacific (6PM UTC) on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2015.


If you have pending exams, then even though the bystander effect is a thing, I expect that the collective effect of ‘everyone with more urgent life issues stays out of the effort’ shifts the probabilities very little (because diminishing marginal returns on more eyes and an already-huge population that is participating).

So if you can’t take the time, then please don’t. Like any author, I enjoy the delicious taste of my readers’ suffering, finer than any chocolate; but I don’t want to *hurt* you.

Likewise, if you hate hate hate this sort of thing, then don’t participate! Other people ARE enjoying it. Just come back in a few days. I shouldn’t even need to point this out.

I remind you again that you have hours to think. Use the Hold Off On Proposing Solutions, Luke.

And really truly, I do mean it, Harry cannot develop any new magical powers or transcend previously stated constraints on them in the next sixty seconds.

I don’t really want to give out any spoilers, but Harry is just about to be disposed of by the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters and he has nothing but his wand. And the author wants to see if you can figure out a way for Harry to get out of the mess he is currently in.

I have absolutely no clue where this is going to go. I’m just glad to have been on the ride so far. I sincerely hope that we get to see all of the rest of the story, whether or not someone in the studio audience is tuned in to the author’s methods of rationality sufficiently to suss out the answer that has been set up within the story as the best way forward. Time will tell.

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