Category Archives: Quick Question(s)

Quick Note To The Traitourous Farging Republicant Iceholes Running This Country (Into the Ground)

Thursday, 30 Shivring 2016

It is my sincere wish that one day the Democratic Party does exactly the same thing that you have done to the first African American president, who won both of his elections by a larger margin than anyone since Red Ink Ray-Gun. Declare him illegitimate from day one, obstruct everything and anything that comes from his office, and constantly bring legislation up to dismantle anything he does accomplish.

Republicants have obstructed everything that this president has tried to do and continue to do so at unprecedented levels. There are those of us out in the real world who feel as strongly about unethical illegal Republicant shenanigans as the Republicants do when real people express any sort of objections to his fascist agenda. It would be interesting (although in all probability completely predictable) to watch the Republicants caterwauling about being treated the same way that they treat others. It would be interesting to see the reaction by the american people if liberals started shooting up everything and everyone in sight the way Republicant domestic terrorists have been doing since the moment Obama was legally elected. It would be astounding if the right wing media covered the Republicant campaign of domestic terrorism over the last seven years in an even remotely balanced manner. And it would be supremely appropriate to let all the republicant enablers out there who says that “both parties are the same” see what life would be like if their bullhockey about both parties were actually even somewhere close to reality.

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On a related side note, I apologize to the rest of the american people for the blinkered Republicant philistines that are the majority of the rest of my relatives. My mother had no problems with the Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter (During Wartime) taking away my employment, giving away half of the treasury to his rich friends, putting tax giveaways to the rich in place with a bunch of Republicant lies, ruining the world economy, ruining 5000+ families by sending their best and brightest to be killed in an illegitimate illegal war, and treating anyone who objected to their fascist schemes as a traitor. But she can’t even say Obama’s name because she has been having nightmares that the U.S. might make her pay capital gains taxes on her Canadian property at some unknown unspecified time in the future*. And she’s one of the more rational of my relatives…

* – the property would need to be valued at over two million dollars (it’s not) and she would need not to have a gazillion deductions (she does) or alternate methods to make the property not eligible for this treatment (which she also has). Mind you, the increased cost of renouncing american citizenship (it’s currently $2,350) and the requirement for foreign nationals to file income taxes have not helped the situation any…

Quick Note To Memories Pizza in Catholictown Wullerton (SPIT!) Walkerton, Indiana

Friday, 6 Goodenuf 2015

I used to be a deejay and have performed at over 300 weddings over the course of fifteen years. Based on my experience, it is my opinion that your “religious” ideals would never be challenged, and need the protection of, the ridiculous waste of time, energy, and taxpayer dollars that is Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration Bill.

I have never heard of any kind of wedding that served pizza to the guests, nor have I ever been a deejay at one. So, not only would I question your superstitious beliefs about any sort of Imaginary Sky Fairy and any kind of Big Book of Catholic Fairy Tales just about as strongly as your belief that anyone would order pizza from your (cough) restaurant at a wedding, I am kinda wondering if you will be around in a few years, and, if so, how many gay wedddings you have had to turn away in that time. In fact, let the studio audience know how many gay couples you have managed to seat in your establishment – or even how many gays that ordered anything from you in the interim – so we can all see how very important it was to spend taxpayer monies and elected officials’ time and efforts in order to pass this crucial legislation without which your business would be unable to survive.

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Quick Note To The Kroll Construction Company

Thursday, 14 Falltring 2014

When potential customers call the Kroll Construction Company the day after Labor Day for a (cough) free (cough) (cough) estimate on their emergency situation, it’s probably not a good idea to have the receptionist at the Kroll Construction Company try and lie to their faces about everybody being in a meeting and tell them that someone will get right back to them once the meeting is over, and then take a frelling week to get back to said potential customer.

It’s even worse when, after the Kroll Construction Company finally gets back to that potential customer and leaves a message on their voice mail to call the Kroll Construction Company back so that an appointment to look things over and provide that estimate can be arranged, said potential customer does try and call the Kroll Construction Company back only to get a hostile, unprofessional, and incompetent receptionist who puts you on hold for ten minutes, then basically calls you a liar for informing her that you are returning a call from the company, and then refuses to deal with you in a professional manner.

I would strongly recommend that no one should expect to be treated like a human being from this corporate welfare queen. If you ever face the prospect of having to deal with the Kroll Construction Company I strongly suggest you search for an alternative in the construction business that has better business ethics and a more professional and courteous staff than this one.

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Who Could Have Predicted?

Friday, 17 Sweltring 2014

That a bunch of Reich Wing Republicants would turn the suicide of a bipolar human being who happened to not completely and wholeheartedly embrace the conservative ethos into an excuse to punch the hippies once again; worse yet, he actually made some noise about it! In Public! (shudder) Hit him again!

From the (cough) dozens of us who have had to deal with the whole bipolar thing on a more or less constant basis for, you know, all of our lives – thanks so much for that, um, insightful analysis of how exactly liberalism is the root cause of all of our woes. Just another thing we have had to deal with on a more or less constant basis for, you know, all of our lives

…including some others who didn’t quite make it…

Ahem… besides making some noise about things non-teabagging conservatroid Republicant, this suicidal bipolar non-Republicant did some other things, too…

Interviewer: Nicky, how do you like being in America?

Nicky Lenin: Mmmph! Mmmph!
Mmmph!
Mmmph! Mmmph! Mmmph! Mmmph! Mmmph!

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Quick Note To The Microsoft Corporation

Fryday, 27 Promise, 2014

When a computer geek for thirty plus years needs to ask where the off button is – and when that off button is not even on the main desktop screen of the desktop environment that is similar to those in the past – you have some serious design issues with the new design.

So – you can set up a Windows desktop in Windows 8 that kinda sorta behaves like the desktop environment that has been around for those thirty plus years while you stumble through relearning how to do everything in Windows 8 that you finally figured out in Windows 3.1 / 95 / 98 / Me / 2000 / XP / 7. But you have to switch back over to the new and improved (cough) ‘desktop’ to shut the frelling thing down.

In other news, the free open source OS Linux has a significant number of distributions (basically, different custom versions of the Operating System set up for specific types of system usage) available. A significant number of them are free, including Ubuntu which has a pretty good OS for desktops.

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Quick Note To Meterologists Still Unclear On The Concept

Thursday, 11 Premise 2014

…because it appears that an awful lot of local weather people are taking the opportunity to make cracks about global “warming” not being quite so apparent because there’s an extreme cold snap taking place: it’s because we now are starting to experience the effects of global climate change that the blizzard is so much worse than before, chuckleheads!. During the record cold that some parts of the northern hemisphere has been experiencing, parts of the southern hemisphere have been going through a record heat wave. So people need to be made aware that they will be seeing more extreme weather events, of all kinds, and adjust their planning accordingly, because of global climate change – not laugh about how fat Al Gore was to have brought it up in the first place.

It’s not just that these professional (cough) weather people are willfully disseminating false propaganda about, you know, the subject of their supposed expertise – it’s the whole concept of another established profession that should be objectively presenting information to the public being corrupted to the point of deliberately lying to their fellow human beings as a matter of corporate policy.

So, please – I’ll try my best not to curse your name down through the ages if you could try perhaps not making so many, you know, deliberately false and misleading global “warming” jokes while I’m shoveling record amounts of snow off of my driveway.

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Quick Questions For Barack Obama and the Rest of the Executive Branch of the Government of The United States of America

Fryday, 14 Wintring 2013

If you invite all of the House Republicants to a meeting, and the traitourous House leader ‘declines’ your invitations on behalf of his Republicant goons, could you extend personal invitations to the ‘declined’ Republicants to meet with you at a different time? If the problem is that someone in the chain of command is salting the earth, so to speak, is there some sort of mechanism available within the parliamentary rules in Congress to work around that sort of thing? And, if such a path to reolve this impasse exists, is there anyone within the House Democratic Caucus (coughcoughGraysoncoughcough) that you could rely on to run the mechanism through the process?

Inquiring minds want to know…

Funny Farm Editorial Staff update: thanks to the wonders of Akismet I am able to let you know that you are now able to comment on the blog posts you see on this site. Share and Enjoy!

Quick Question For Hockey Fans

Friday, 4 Reckning 2013

Have the original six NHL franchises ever all been in the playoffs together?  I know the Leafs and the Habs haven’t been regulars to the playoff scene recently, and I can remember when Chicago, New York, and Boston were all sucking bad.  But I do not seem to recall a year when all six of them were in the playoffs at the same time…

Also, too – I do have a lot of good friends who are fanatical about their favorite hockey team.  One of them sent me this over the weekend:

WARNING ENVIRONMENT CANADA ISSUES AIR QUALITY ADVISORY

Environment Canada reports the air around metro Toronto is being polluted with the smell of mothballs and mould as Toronto Maple Leaf fans unpack banners,flags and pennants from trunks and closets.
Environment Canada reports there is no drastic danger and not to worry the smell should go away in about 10-15 days.

Also, also, too – it’s Monday in the real world, but it’s never Monday when you use the Midling Calendar, and in fact today is Friday for Your Humble Narrator.  If you would like to play tricks with time and enjoy no Mondays and two Fridays every week, you should post a comment here so you can purchase one of my calendars and enjoy a different view of time.  Hope you manage to squeeze some satisfaction into this freshly minted week…