The Church of The Afternoon Nap

The Church Of The Afternoon Nap

We welcome all to consider the beliefs of The Church Of The Afternoon Nap and heed its’ message:

The Church Of The Afternoon Nap is organized around three basic beliefs:

The Church Of The Afternoon Nap believes that an afternoon nap is a positive, beneficial activity that should be encouraged and enabled for our fellow beings.  Stress is a major cause of increased hardship in the human condition, and can lead to an early grave.  We believe that even five minutes of restful contemplation at lunch can help alleviate the stress of the day and allow people to lower stress levels, rest and recharge, and take some time to assess and organize themselves and their day’s progress and plan for the rest of the day.
We are dedicated to trying to provide a calm, restful environment for people to have an afternoon nap, for as long as they wish, at any time from noon to four (local time) each day (regular church hours open to the public).

The Church Of The Afternoon Nap believes that religion has been taken much too seriously by the human race.  Currently, and for thousands of years, there have been religions, and religious people, who have strenuously and seriously advocated, based upon their religious beliefs, that those members of society that do not share their religious beliefs should be eradicated from the face of the earth.  Many religions, over thousands of years, have tried to instill their unproven, and unprovable, beliefs into society as though they were based on a bedrock of fact.  Organized religion has been the largest cause of human misery during the course of human civilization.  To believe that differences in opinion over hypothetical systems of belief, differences in attempting to define the undefined, and differences an what and how we know and enforce the thoughts and motives of a supposed superior being, are sufficient cause to harm, much less destroy, another person, another race, or another group, seems to those of our religion to be somewhat extreme.

We do not believe that religious beliefs should ever be the cause of strife between people.  We would never attempt to use our religious beliefs as a basis for persecuting those who do not share them, demanding that laws be passed, or demanding that any church doctrine be legislated as the law of any land solely because it is church doctrine.  We believe that religions should be focused less on enforcing their beliefs on the whole of civilization, and more on sharing their beliefs and accepting the knowledge that those beliefs may not be shared by everyone.

The Church Of The Afternoon Nap believes that religions and religious activities should not be given privileges and additional rights, and that religions should be required to obey all of the laws of the lands where they wish to establish themselves.  No religion should enjoy tax free status, and all religions should consider it a sacred duty to contribute their fair share to society, instead of expecting society to support them, give them special privileges, and let them ignore the laws of the land with impunity.

We believe that religions should be equal, not privileged, members of society.  Religions should never be allowed to shield their employees from any illegal activities they engaged in while acting as representatives of their religion.  We will be operating as a tax-free religious organization, and attempt to show how much more religions can be when they choose to become equal members of society, in the hopes that someday religions will stop being treated as privileged members of society.

With these basic beliefs in mind, The Church Of The Afternoon Nap is encouraging the following principles within its’ congregation, and is attempting to accomplish the following goals:

– to establish the afternoon nap as a regular religious activity within the church, and provide safe haven for those who would like to take a bit of time off for a nap sometime during the afternoon  (regular church hours would be noon to four PM)

– to promote and enjoy the benefits of taking a break in the middle of the day when designing a positive, spiritually beneficial, and healthy lifestyle

– to promote and establish that our religious beliefs are not of the nature of traditional religious beliefs, in that they are not held to be axiomatic truths that were required to be accepted without question, or that they would cause adherents of our religion to condemn our fellow human beings if they do not strictly and completely accept our religious beliefs as the one true faith

– to show rational people everywhere that religions are beliefs and not knowledge, and as such should not be used as the basis of law and persecution of others who may not share those beliefs

– to enjoy the benefits of religious tax-free status, that are currently enjoyed by organized religions in many nations, within all of the church membership, and properly utilize it to show that religious organizations should be taxed as any other corporation until such time as the laws are changed

– to request that governments remove religious references and beliefs from the common law applicable to all

Napp Tyme

6 thoughts on “The Church of The Afternoon Nap

  1. Jack Cluth

    Hallelujah!! Finally, a religion that speaks to my values. And I can donate meeting/nap space at Our Lady Of Perpetual Motion Church. 😉

  2. Pingback: It’s That Time Of Year Somewhat Earlier Than Normal This Year | The Funny Farm


    My colleague and I have been searching for such a Church for a while now and are soooo happy that we chanced upon this link. We are in England and are happy to spread the word lol 🙂

  4. Napp Tyme

    I write letters! Pharyngula put up a wondrous post discussing a perceived atheist dilemma – which is somewhat of an issue for more then just the atheist community. So I sent Dr. Myers a letter!

    Dr. Myers:

    I read your recent post titled “The Atheist Dilemma” and I would like to
    suggest an alternative solution to the problem of religion, faith,
    spirituality, and the lack of scientific proof about the objective reality
    of god(s), divine intervention, and religious fanaticism / fervor. May I
    recommend we all find a way to take a less, well, intense interpretation
    of religious belief? I would suggest, as a start, that any kind of
    interpretation of religious belief that prescribes eliminating those who
    do not share it is unacceptable in civilized society, and that we should
    all try to agree, no matter what faith, or lack thereof, that any
    religious belief should be that basis of any law of the land. No matter
    what faith based rationale is used, it should not be the basis of any laws
    that are to be followed by all. I thought that was one of the ways the
    intent and the spirit of the U.S. Constitution made it so uniquely
    democratic* for its’ time.

    I appreciate and strongly agree with your arguments within the
    aforementioned post. There are so many ways religious fervor spills out
    into the zeitgeist to the detriment of others, when it ostensibly claims
    to try and help as a general rule. i think the main problem is that so
    many seem to get so worked up by their Big Book of Superstitious Fairy
    Tales, whatever it may be, and then believe they are justified in forcing
    others to accept their beliefs as truth. That’s when religions / beliefs
    / etc begin to be an issue.

    The only thing I can think of to try and defuse the fanaticism is rational
    realization that you’ve gone too far when you’re starting to think your
    religion justifies activities like honor killings. Or genital mutilation.
    Or any of a googleplex of human activities over the millennia that were
    done because the Invisible Sky Fairy** supposedly told humanity it was
    their main task in life. It might not work. It sure does my stress
    levels good when I can get others who might be a bit more fervent in their
    beliefs to consider the implications of their more fanatical activities.
    Because in the end the only thing I can control is my own behavior.

    Thanks for the thoughtful post. If only we could convince everyone that
    religion is more apt for church socials, card parties, and bingo – not
    heathen smiting, demon removal, or public morals enforcement. And find a
    way to make it impractical, illegal, and/or unaffordable to engage in some
    of the more fervent behaviors that some claim to be inspired by their
    religious beliefs.

    Good luck to you and yours. Thanks again for helping others think about
    the difficulties excessive religious behavior causes within the general

    Tom at the Funny Farm

    * – Now that the whole 3/5ths of a person thing has been amended. Maybe
    one day we can have an equal rights amendment too!

    ** – why, yes – I am a friend of Bartcop, gone a few years now. That was
    one of his favorite expressions for whatever deity you would like to refer


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *